7 Things Soulja Boy Needs
Soulja Boy and the acronym “WTF” just seem to be synonymous at this point.
Along with his endless social media f**kery, the Atlanta rapper rounded up yet another weapons possession charge recently (this time one of the guns, a Glock, had been stolen from a Huntington Beach police department!). On top of that, his scheduled bout with Chris Brown — which deserves side-eyes all around for everyone involved — is still a thing. The latest development? He’s ditched Floyd Mayweather and opted for Evander Holyfield to whip his body into shape for the matchup. There’s a lot going on and no one can keep up.
Soulja, we see you are a very go hard or go home when it comes to life, but it might be time to go home. Let us help.
Here are seven things you need to get your act together once and for all.
A publicist
Do you have anyone who monitors your tweets before they go out? Who makes sure interviews are done with the right news outlets? Who tries to get you press that’s helpful to your brand? If you don’t have this, you need it. Because that person will make sure you have…
Limited wi-fi
Social media is the devil, and it's been might busy with you. Try a social media fast for just a week or two. Yes, that sounds like torture, but what do you have to lose? How about you spend time talking to…
A real friend
Who on Earth are you rolling with these days? You can hang out with whomever you want, but you need at least one Day One in your crew that will call you out before you get a tattoo on your forehead. Or take possession of a stolen Glock from a police station. Speaking of tattoos. You also need…
A tattoo removal procedure
Tattoos are cool. And everyone has the right to get however many they want. But just consider getting rid of the ones you have on your face. The truth of the matter is: you have a baby face and all of the tattoos in the world won’t change that. It might be helpful to think about who you really are and work with that. You might get in less trouble if you stop pretending to be someone you’re not. If you don’t stop pretending, it’s likely that you’ll get…
A timeout
Before you get upset, remember this is said with love. If you are found guilty (obviously, we hope not), a little timeout might be helpful. Maybe you can get some headphones…
To Listen to 'Hold Up' by Beyoncé
That’s you, DeAndre. Beyoncé took a bit of a song you wrote in your dad’s basement at the age of 17 and put it on her iconic visual album Lemonade. Understand your legacy. Marinate on what that means. You need motivation to get the main thing you need, which is…
A hit record
Again, no disrespect, DeAndre. But instead of social media beefs and gunplay, we’d like to see you in the studio. Get serious. And make the music you want to hear. You’ll likely keep some self-respect and stay out of jail, too.
