It's probably not Kim Kardashian.
Is it Kris Humphries? Reggie Bush? Some pervert who wants Kim Kardashian's naughty video all to himself? It's not clear who is trying to get the reality star's private parts to be a little more, well, private, but they're willing to pay big money to make it happen.
TMZ reports that a mystery buyer has hired a lawyer in Tennessee to take Kim's sex tape off the market — permanently. The lawyer sent a letter to Vivid Entertainment head Steve Hirsch yesterday, which reads, "I was approached by a private party who has asked us about looking into the possibility of acquiring all rights of the Vivid 'Kim Kardashian Sex Tape.'"
The lawyer adds, "The party we represent does not intend to distribute or broadcast the 'tape,' but hopes to completely remove it from the market."
A line in the letter claiming the buyer wishes to "purchase any other footage you may have control of that involves Ms. Kardashian" has led some to speculate the buyer is Kim herself (she does have some extra cash at her disposal), but who are we kidding? That tape is what built the Kardashian empire, and without it she would probably still be Paris Hilton's sidekick. Wait a minute…someone with a lot of money who wants Kim Kardashian to be less famous? Has anyone checked Paris' mail lately?
(Photo: Christopher Polk/Getty Images)