Are You In A Dead End Relationship? | Body and Soul

Published February 19, 2009

(www.BlackDoctor.org) -- Are you in a dead end relationship? Do you find yourself going around and around and up and down on an emotional rollercoaster? If so, then the question to consider is: Exactly when do you intend to get off? No one can save you from a bad relationship except you.

There are several different ways to know when you've done all you can do. I will give you three of the most common here:

(1)   Your partner isn't willing to work as hard as you to make the relationship work.

If you are putting forth a genuine effort to try and make your relationship work, but at every turn, your partner is trying to pick fights, create hostility or put up road blocks, then you need to run, not walk out of that relationship. It takes two to make a relationship work and if your partner isn't as committed as you are to getting your relationship out of the ditch, then any efforts that you make will be in vain.

(2)   Your partner is abusive.

Abuse comes in many different forms. If your partner is physically, mentally, verbally, sexually, financially or socially abusive and isn't willing to seek professional help to end the cycle of abuse, then again, it's time to leave. If you're not sure what these different types of abuse are, take a look at my blog entitled "Domestic Violence" in my blog archives.

(3)   You're just not "in love."

When in a relationship, everyday is not going to be champagne and roses. Disagreements, hard times and rough patches come along with the territory, but if you know in your "heart of hearts" that you are settling for a relationship with a person that just doesn't fulfill you, then you're wasting your time and their’s. Why settle for loving someone without being "in love?" Why settle for someone because they're a "good guy" or a "nice girl?" Someone being "good," doesn't necessarily mean that they're good for you. Perhaps, they'd be even better with someone else. Love them enough to let them go in the same way you'd want them to let you go if they knew you weren't the one for them.

Dead end relationships are emotionally, physically and spiritually draining. They rob you of precious moments that you will never get back. If you're in a bad relationship that's worth saving, then do whatever needs to be done, short of losing yourself, to make it better. Get counseling, read books, attend workshops and support groups, but don't allow yourself to waste the precious moments that the Creator has blessed you with. If you're in a dead end relationship, then love yourself enough to get out. There is no prize for being a martyr. Ask yourself: "How would you feel if your child was in the kind of relationship that you're in right now," and then remember that you're somebody's baby, too. HE made you, in HIS own image and HE gave you the capacity to love and be loved abundantly.

Until next time…peace & blessings

 

BDO (www.BlackDoctor.org ) is the World’s largest and most comprehensive online health resource specifically targeted to African Americans.


 

Written by Spirit, BlackDoctor.org Mental Health Expert

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