Are You Hatin' On Yourself? | Body and Soul

Published March 24, 2009

(www.BlackDoctor.org) -- Haters.  Haterade.  Hateration.  We all know or have come across haters. Brothers on the corner may be blaming the man; blue-collar brothers may be blaming their child’s mother. We all know they’re out there and some of us constantly complain about them. "She's hating on me!" "All these haters out here make me sick!” It is evident that there is a phenomenon of “hater-isms” out there.  Even Kanye recognizes it, "hater brothers marry, hater women and have hater kids." 

But, within all of that hatred, have you ever thought that we could be “hatin’” on ourselves?  How so you may ask? Just by doing or not doing little things in our everyday lives. 

- Do you not return phone calls in a timely manner?
- Is your work done sloppily and hastily?
- Do you not follow through with what you say you're going to do?
- Do you do only your best sometimes? 
- Are you reluctant to help someone in need?

If you answered "yes" to the majority of these questions, then you might be “hatin’” on yourself! Believe me, racism and haters are real—I get "corporate hate" weekly—yet, by making some small changes in our lives, we can erase some of the negative energy we have and really give the haters something to hate on… our success!

Here are some useful tips, to help prevent yourself from swallowing your own haterade:

1.     Be a man of your word – I don’t know how many times it has been said to me time and time again, “If you can’t do it, then SAY you can’t do it.” Someone that has follow through, not only gains more respect amongst his peers, but also garners more positive word-of-mouth talk in his favor (you want someone to say “I heard about you” in a good way).

2.     Go above and beyond – sometimes we as men are so focused on getting the job done, that we don’t focus on what could be done in doing the job better. Have you ever heard of the saying, “It’s the little things that make a difference”?  It’s true. Pay attention to detail (in and out of the bedroom).

3.     Don’t be afraid to speak up - I won’t say all, but the majority of us men keep emotions bottled up for one reason or another, until its gets too unbearable to hold on to. Holding on to those thoughts and/or emotions are not only hazardous to your physical health, but also to your emotional health. If you don’t like something, speak up.  Plain and simple. Of course there’s a right and wrong way to go about speaking up for yourself, but to keep this article brief, we’ll tackle that another time. 

Three simple rules, one simple philosophy:  stop the hatred within.  The less haterade coming from you, the more your thirst for success and happiness will be quenched.

Written by Derrick Lane, BDO Contributing Writer

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