Jill Scott Opens Up on What Divorce Taught Her About Relationships

"Finding someone to fall in love with is the hardest part of all," she says.

Posted: 09/23/2013 11:42 AM EDT
Jill Scott

Jill Scott recently sat down with MadameNoire.com to explain how she's "not pressed" to introduce a new man into her life. In a new interview with Rolling Out, the singer continues this thread by admitting that "love is hard" and listed all the things required to make a relationship work.

"Finding someone to fall in love with is the hardest part of all," she began. "Infatuation is easy. We get caught up in someone's looks, or their money, but not the person. Or, we're into someone for a couple of months and then the novelty fades and we're on to the next. Love is bigger than just the emotion for the moment. Love requires patience. It requires communication. It requires and demands mutual respect and understanding. In this quick-paced world, we want immediate gratification. Our idea of love and having that is great, but the immediate gratification of having it all is what most people are after in this microwavable world. That's what makes it such a challenge. We have to change our mentality if we want relationships that will last."

"It's not about falling for just anybody. You want to love the whole person. I think we're all on a hunt. I think everybody wants to be loved and appreciated and wanted. But, you can't just choose whoever fits the bill. There has to be a connection in a very real way. You have to be there through the good and bad times," she said.

Scott was also honest about the things she's learned from her divorce with Lyzel Williams in 2007 and why she's reluctant to make such a commitment with someone who's on a completely different level. It's not that she wouldn't like to find that someone, but she's just as happy rolling on her own if that person doesn't come along.

"When it was time to go, it was time to go," Scott said. "I now know if I were to ever get married again, it's all the way or we're not going. We're not making that next move at all. That's the issue with me. That means I have to find someone willing to make that same exact commitment. If not, life is good. Fruit is sweet, traveling is awesome, and family is healthy. I'll live, but I would prefer to sit and love someone equally. I'm understanding love even more because I have a child. I know regardless of what he does; spill juice all over the floor or draw on the wall, that I still love him anyway. I still want his company. I still have a deep desire to hold his hand. That's the next level of love regardless of what's going on. We still care for one another. We've lost a lot of that."


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(Photo: Daniel Tanner/WENN.com)

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