Wayne Brady might have spent years making his audience laugh, but behind closed doors the comedian/host was living through dark days. In a recent sit-down with Entertainment Tonight, the star of Whose Line Is It Anyway? revealed that he had been battling depression for years.
"Having a bad day is one thing, having a bad week is another, having a bad life … You don't want to move, you can't move in the darkness,” he said. “You're like, 'I am just going to sit right here and want to wallow in this. As much as it hurts, I am going to sit right here because this is what I deserve. This is what I deserve, so I am going to sit here because I am that horrible of a person.’”
Brady continued describing what it's like to be in such a vicious cycle of self-hatred.
"It starts this cycle where you tell yourself these lies … and those lies become true to you," he continued. "So, you stick to your own truth you've set up. 'If I am this bad, then why should any of this matter?' I feel at that point, you end up wanting to stop the pain."
Brady admitted he had a complete meltdown in his bedroom on his 42nd birthday in June. That paired with the news that fellow comedian and actor Robin Williams had committed suicide after also secretly struggling with inner demons became a turning point for Brady. He's currently on the path to getting better and credits his ex-wife, Mandie Taketa, for helping him with his recovery process. The two are still very close, neighbors in fact, and co-parent their 11-year-old daughter, Maile.
As for his advice to others dealing with depression, Brady said that admitting something is wrong is the first step that needs to be taken.
"It took me a while to get my stuff together to go, 'You know what? If you're not happy, you have to do something about it,'" he says frankly. "Just to admit that you are feeling this way is a huge step. To claim that, to say, 'Why do I feel dark? Why do I feel unhappy? Let me do something about this.'"
To watch his entire interview, click here.
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(Photo: Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images)