Hate is a funny thing.
There are some celebrities who are just teflon and can do no wrong even when you're looking at them with the fire of every letter in W-T-F.
And then there's Lil Mama.
This poor pint-sized woman can't catch a break. You remember how this all started too. 2009 was the year. The MTV VMAs. Jay Z and Alicia Keys were giving us every fiber of our Big Apple lives with "Empire State of Mind." And then it happened. Lil Mama — moved by the emotions that Hov and Leeshy were projecting upon that stage — rose to her feet in a trance, levitated to that stage and started slam dancing with two living legends like she was Onyx circa 1993, right down to flanking them in a prison pose at the end. Nobody was feeling that. It wasn't cute. It wasn't cute at all. Lil Mama acknowledged that she was T-Painin' too much and then moved on. Why can't you?
Four years passed and Lil Mama was cast as Left Eye in the 2013 TV biopic CrazySexyCool: The TLC Story. You still wouldn't let her live. She did a bang up job portraying the fallen member of TLC, and still...no love for the lip gloss pop-oneer. Now, she's dropped this amped-up cut "Sausage" with a fire video and Twitter attacked like the BeyHive on a mission to destroy Kid Rock. Why?
Let's take a look-slash-listen to this "Sausage," shall we?
The song opens with a sample of A-Town's "Good Morning to You (The Birds Are Chirping)." You love that song. And still you hate. Lil Mama is wishing you a good morning and you're such an ingrate that you don't accept her salutations. She's on a stoop with all her friends having fun. Do you have friends? Do you have fun? If no, then that's your fault. If yes, then Lil Mama is just like you. Why can't you accept that?
And then the catchphrase arrives: "Eggs! Bacon! Grits! You better use a condom if you're takin' that...SAUSAGE!"
Now look. All praises and powers and blessings due to the late Lisa "Left Eye" Lopes, but "two inches or a yard, rock hard or if it's saggin'" wasn't exactly poetic either. The sentiment was practice safe sex. That's all Lil Mama is really saying here. We're knee-deep in a generation of millennials who think they're invincible and are sucking the blood out of their lips through a shot glass because Kylie Jenner said so. You don't think somebody has to remind them to practice safe sex when HIV and HPV and every other terrifying sexually transmitted acronym looms overhead? You don't think that is an important message? You want another season of Teen Mom?
Lil Mama basically created one big public service announcement, full of fun bars and sound bytes from other hot singles, like Fetty Wap's "Trap Queen" and Chedda Da Connect's "Flick of Dat Wrist" with T-Wayne. She even gets her Mary J. Blige on, rocking her Waiting to Exhale gear. It's no different than an annual wrap-up from Mad Skillz, taking what's popular to get a separate message across. And Lil Mama did a great job. Her bars were in tact, the beat knocked and she even treaded into Nicki Minaj territory with that "SAU-SAU-SAU-SAU-SAUSAGE!," sounding like a street samurai (if that's what a samurai sounds like). And still you hate.
So what is it? Is it because Lil Mama is a woman and you can't bounce back from public slip-ups as a woman? We have male artists who beat up their girlfriends, pee on teenagers, and who are white and use the N-word, yet Lil Mama got on a stage to show her appreciation at an inappropriate time and she's one of the eternally unforgiven? She didn't do a dance routine at a funeral for crying out loud. Get over it.
Maybe "Sausage" isn't for you (literally and figuratively), but there was a message here that Lil Mama attempted to deliver and made it fun. If you're allergic to fun, then go get stabbed with an EPI Pen. This is a good track from a talented person. It's time to move on and let Lil Mama do her thing.
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(Photo: World Star Hip Hop via YouTube)