R. Kelly’s been known to sing extensively. In 2005 he gave us his first of 33 chapters from the rap opera “Trapped in the Closet.” Now, he’s got 45 minutes of himself singing his whole life story with a little explanation added in.

GQ premiered the video that’s a mixture of interesting, entertaining and somewhat disturbing. He begins by describing his childhood in Chicago’s Southside. Kells explains who his mother was, getting shot as a child, and the makings of his future success. He also says he spreads love amongst all the “haters,” which has become a tired theme amongst continued allegations he committed numerous sexual assaults, some involving minors.

Toward the middle of his soulful diatribe, R. Kelly takes off his shades, pops in a cigar and continuously apologizes to his mother, who passed away in 1993.

“All I can say is I’m sorry, Mom, I’m so sorry. I don’t know what else to say,” Kelly says reflectively. “It didn’t even look like my mother, but I knew it was my mother. I walked up to her bedside… It was me and my mom, and she said, ‘Please leave, please.’ I said, ‘Mama, please don’t make me leave, there’s something I gotta tell you.’”

View R. Kelly’s 45-minute musical life story below.

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(Photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images for BET)