As some of you may know, Gwyneth Paltrow has a website called Goop. The site is a lifestyle and recommendation blog style site where she gives some of her best recommendations for living your best life. Well, according to Gwyneth, there are a few things every basic girl needs, and that’s a not-so-basic collection of $400 nipple clamps, $500 whips and a 24k-gold dildo for $15,000.
If you are unfamiliar with the site then you are probably a normal human being who doesn’t find it necessary to be told about juice cleanses by a rich celebrity. After all, being able to replace actual food with expensive juices is a privileged luxury most of us aren’t privy to. In fact, the site recently gained much attention when Gwyneth “lived off food stamps” for a week and still enjoyed a diet filled with green vegetables and fresh produce. The amount of eye rolls that article received was record setting to say the least.
Well, home girl is back to give us some wonderful advice, and this time she is doing it by way of sex toys. According the Iron Man star, it’s time to forget about your local XXX Fantasy shop, because the only true way to indulge in a sex toy is to throw down 15 grand on a golden dildo by Lelo.
Obviously, once the blog was posted, the internet had a fit. In fact, many people on Twitter started using the phrase “dildon’t” when referring to the recommended product. Realistically, it’s not that none of us want a 24k-gold dildo. I’m sure most of us would love to be opulent, even when self-satisfying. The big issue is, we all know we can’t afford that stuff. We get it, Gwyneth. You and your rich friends jet-set to Paris and swap Beyonce stories while sipping on a kale cocktail. And then when you are done chatting, you disappear into your respected wings, and masturbate with gold. We get it! Now shut up about it.
Check out some of the hilarious reactions to the Goop post, and share your own thoughts in the comments section below:
1) what the hell is wrong with gwyneth paltrow but 2) i want that $15,000 gold dildo and i also deserve it— A-O RIVER (@statepooper) May 11, 2016
There's a golden dildo for sale that costs $15,000. Is that what rich people spend their money on ???— Nicole (@mouldysushi) November 22, 2015
Gwyneth Paltrow recommends you spend $15,000 for a gold dildo so you can go f--- yourself. Quite literally I might add.— Mark Hobin (@Mark_Hobin) May 11, 2016
my car costs as much as gwyneth paltrows 24 carat gold dildo— Alex B-)offin (@alexboffin) May 11, 2016
according to Perez Hilton, Gwyneth Paltrow spent 15k on a gold dildo lol I would have just bought a boyfriend— Deb Woodycrest (@tinka_belll) May 10, 2016
You could buy $395 nipple clamps like goop suggests, OR you could buy over 300 cans of soup for the same price https://t.co/ezY1aTwUfn— Jaya Saxena (@jayasax) May 10, 2016
(Photos from left: Mike Coppola/Getty Images for People.com, Cindy Ord/Getty Images)