If Dave Chappelle or In Living Color were still on TV, surely a skit would exist that went like this: A few masked people illegally enter a store using the most stealth, laser-beam avoiding tactics. Once inside, they disable the alarm system and ignore the cash register, a piggy bank, furs, diamonds and a dizzying display of expensive baubles. They have their eyes on one thing and one thing only: the rows of human hair for sale on the back wall. Filling sacks with the follicular booty, they make their way out, high-fiving all the way.
High fives aside, we don't need the Wayans or Chappelle for these hijinx. Such ludicrous behavior is happening in a beauty supply store near you. The New York Times showed remarkable restraint in presenting a just-the-facts, no-jokes news story on a rash of thefts going on in the New York area, where thieves steal upwards of $100,000 of hair. Discerning criminals, they want no part of the synthetic hair and instead they're holding stick-ups (and, in one case, even killing a shop worker) for human hair—particularly top-notch Remy.
Anyone who knows me knows I hate a weave. I never cease to be freaked out by the sight of someone walking around with hair that once grew out of someone else's head sitting atop theirs. But clearly I am in the minority, since stealing weave hair has become quite a lucrative criminal activity as weave wearers and salon owners would rather pay the street price of about $25 a bag, versus the store prices of $100 or so. These are hard times we’re living in, but…damn. Another point, hair-stealing people: Is this really what you want to tell your fellow cellmate you did when you get locked up? That can’t go over too well in the yard.
(Photo: Uriel Sinai/Getty Images)