Yelling, screaming, starting ish and some true Black parenting are the things that defined this week’s lineup of television programming.
From the madness of reality television — to the upset of the election — everybody was catching these virtual hands from of all the craziness of the past week. Here's what rocked the boat for us.
The cast of Love & Hip Hop Hollywood tried it several times during part 1 of their ratchet reunion.
Just when I thought things couldn’t get messier and even more ratchet — part one (because the drama is so real they have to break this ish up) of the Love & Hip Hop Hollywood reunion definitely proved me wrong. Where do I begin? Moniece Slaughter was verbally slaughtered by nearly everyone as they came for her petty ways (yes, she called folks' babies ugly). No one was there for her excuses. Even Fizz couldn’t save her as the “duchess of megatron loudness” Brandi Boyd (aka Max Lux’s crazy wife) dragged her for her bullying ways. But even Brandi couldn’t slide as the girls snatched her edges for taking over $20,000 from her own child’s savings account to go half on a clothing store. Really? Because the world needs another reality TV star selling cheap clothes. She wasn’t the only one yelling like Meek Mill. Masika Kalysha, rapper Fetty Wap’s baby mama, threw the most constant shade throughout the entire night. Calling Hazel E “Nasal E” never got old as host of the reunion, Nina Parker aka Instigator of the Year, decided to have the two rivals duke it out on the stage. Sigh, all this went down in just one hour! No wonder we have to tune in next week for part two!
Ralph Angel got bold (and more beautiful) as things get even more real on Queen Sugar.
“All my life I had to fight,” was basically what my Queen Sugar bae Ralph Angel Bordelon told Aunt Violet (or “Ant Vi” as he would say it) as he finally let her know that he’s no longer an ex-felon and deserves his “rights.” This episode was very touching as he put that deep NOLA accent to good use and got his tough aunt together on giving him custody of his son, Blue (yasss, he even has excellent taste in names with Beyoncé). Well, for starters, Ralph Angel has been a perfect daddy for that child. He wakes him up in the morning, makes sure he gets his behind on the bus on time — and he’s the one ensuring his baby mama comes through on her end of the responsibility. Translation: he’s the kind of brotha that deserve the yams. Well, long story short, Ant Vi finally gave in and let him be the best TV daddy we have seen in years. I was here for all of this!
The Lyon brothers stay coming for each other reckless on Empire.
These brothas ain’t loyal. This week’s long-awaited episode of Empire was filled with the kind of sibling rivalry that even Jerry Springer couldn’t handle. It all started when fine-ass (but sexy loco) Andre decided that he wanted to fall in love with the new season’s good singing queen. Is it just me or every season is there a new girl that can sang and then she’s gone? Well, baby bro Hakeem couldn’t deal. As you know, Hakeem is the youngest Lyon and even I have a hard time taking his hypermasculinity seriously. Why are you trying to serve Mufasa tough-Lyon realness when you’re clearly a young Simba? Well, when he decided to do a live collaboration with the more rational brother, Jamal (who is still bae even when he’s scared to carry a note) on their big Empire live streaming special it got too real.
Hakeem acted a damn fool — but of course he had messy daddy Lucious Lyon to gas him up. That Lucious — basically a reincarnation of every evil light-skinned lover played in every black film starring Terrence Howard — stirred the pot by instigating the mess. Lucious tipped Hakeem off that Andre was smashing one of his industry crushes — which is practically every girl that’s not in his family on the show — and he came for everyone. First, he makes homophobic insults at Jamal (so not cool) and then he throws shade at Andre while he was cupcaking with a girl who wasn’t even feeling Hakeem. Let’s just say they all got into a hot mess of bickering. This episode was tewwww much.
Black folks aren’t here for a Trump presidency and were letting the media have it.
On Tuesday’s election night, Black people weren’t just mad — we were mad as hell — and our distraught faces (and new growth) during the CNN camera roll of President-Elect Donald Trump’s victory was just plain ol' sad.
At least our favorite Black political analysts didn’t even fake the funk. Van Jones, who basically should just be renamed Keeper of the Scalps, kept it all the way 100 about how Trump’s win was basically a “white-lash.” Translation: some crazy white folks ran to those polls and went radical AF. “This was a deeply painful moment” he said as he reminded all dem white folks on that panel that race matters — even on CNN. Then on CBC News, sista (and Wokeness Queen) Danielle Moodie-Millis, had to shut down some other “experts” on why Trump’s win was “white supremacy’s last stand in America.” With laid locs and a flawless read, she broke down how “what is facing us is not what we want to believe” by schooling them about birtherism, racism, voting rights violations. In other words, she had the receipts and they had to deal. Hopefully a lot of folks across the nation will begin to as well.
Until next week, Black America, remember to stay out of mess, keep your family (and edges) together and show some love for the baby daddies out there trying.
(Photo from left: VH1, Justin Sullivan/Getty Images, Skip Bolen © 2016 Warner Bros. Entertainment Inc / Courtesy of OWN)