Black television came back swinging after the a week of Turkey leftovers. Whether it was the epic jaw dropping, wig-snatching finale of Insecure or a celeb cameo that was done right -- nothing was undercooked on the small screen. Here’s some of the most scandalous moments of the week...caution: keep your edges intact.
Let’s talk about Lawrence’s petty ass on Insecure.
No, Lawrence didn’t have a “Lemonade” moment -- he had an Arnold Palmer one during the season finale of Insecure. Full of tea with a little bit of bitter sour lemons, he got even with Issa’s cheating ass on a level I hadn’t seen since Waiting to Exhale. But let’s get real, he didn’t have to do her like that. They say two wrongs don’t make a right...but pretending you’re going to patch it up and then stand her up only to mess around with the thirsty bank teller is very telling. And to top it off, Sir Lawrence of Pettyville packs up all his ish and leaves only his Best Buy polo in the closet to remind her of the times when he was a loser and she still stood by with his trifling ass. For me, both of them weren’t any good for each other. Issa should have left him the moment she stepped outside of the relationship after he couldn’t even remember her damn birthday. And Lawrence, knowing that he was underachieving AF, should have either humbled himself and dipped or got his ish together on sight. But, nah -- this isn’t a Tyler Perry movie -- things don’t end with a wedding or family reunion. Instead, Lawrence dipped it low, and never picked his pettiness up slow. Season 2, Issa you better clapback girl.
Bianca Bonnie has a thing for taken “white chocolate” on Love & Hip Hop.
If you enjoy breathing controllably, don’t watch Love & Hip Hop. But if you are messy, live for the drama -- and the theft of players -- this is the show for you. The latest episode was all about Bianca Bonnie, aka the girl who sang that dope throwback “Chicken Noodle Soup.” When she is not trying to produce a comeback, she is admiring a more slicker version of Macklemore. Yes, Bianca has a sweet tooth for a dude she describes as “white chocolate,” Hot 97’s DJ Drewski. Long story short, they used to hit it off back in the day and now he can’t help but want to return the favor. Only problem is that he’s already dating someone else and for some reason Bianca doesn’t seem to mind. Now see, these are the moments on LHH when I lose my breath. I’m like “so you’re just gonna talk to someone else’s man and think that this is going to go well?” Major sigh alert. It’s only a matter of time before Drewski’s main bae finds out he wants his chicken noodle soup with a soda on the side. Here’s to hoping Bianca becomes a Sprite that can obey her thirst as he remains off the market.
Phylicia Rashad served Supreme Queen of Shade on Empire.
This season of Empire has had the best cameos of any show this year. Everybody from French Montana and Romeo -- and let’s not start on how much Taye Diggs has gotten his groove back -- have been bringing their A-game. But none, and I mean none of your faves, can top that of the greatest TV mom of our generation -- Queen Phylicia Rashad. Mrs. Claire Huxtable came through the Empire ready to snatch any edges that weren’t together in that order. Her flawless power haircut and effortless bougie demeanor rivaled that of uptight film divas such as Lynn Whitfield. Playing Cookie’s new political boo’s mama from hell was a joy to watch. To be honest, anything with Phylicia Rashad in it is worth watching. She could have stood in the Lyon’s den for 3 minutes motionless and I would have gotten my life every second of it. In the end, she ended up approving of Cookie -- but not without warning her to
I can’t with Charley’s trifling worst behavior on Queen Sugar anymore.
The season finale of Queen Sugar had me in ruins like a New York Knicks fan every time I think they’re about to drop bombs. Seriously the head diva in charge, Ms. Charley Bordelon had me angry like Tyra Banks: “We were rooting for you! We were all rooting for you!” And then she messed up. The final episode she was torn between her cheating basketball baller ex-husband and the fine as wine Southern charmer, Remy Newell. Remy was everything --- e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g her bougie ass needed: loyalty, nobility, Southern Hospitality, nice head, shoulder, knees, and toes. But while she was trying to make it up to him after a failed date prior, she gets a call from her ex begging her to meet him in his hotel to patch things up -- and she tried to dip out on Remy as if he couldn’t detect her BS. Remy dropped her like a bad habit on sight and she ran her ass over to that hotel only to realize that she was dumb AF for even playing herself. Duh. Guess she is taking notes from Issa’s Insecure playbook, fingers crossed that Remy don’t pull a Lawrence.
Until next week, Black America — remember to get your ish together before you start trying to get your swirl on, and when going back to exes, remember that two can play that game in land of pettyness and clapback realness.
(Photos from Left: VH1, Anne Marie Fox/HBO)