Black television this week came through with the heat that would have had your mama telling you to get out the kitchen if you couldn’t stand it. Whether it was biggest reality television dragging on the year or Lee Daniels becoming the Shonda Rhimes of FOX — I can’t help but throw my hands up and be delivert. Here’s some of the most bomb-dropping moments of the week... prepare yourself for the read.
Love & Hip-Hop did an epic two-hour special this week that held back no punches — pun intended. Whether it was Yandy having baby-mama drama with her convicted boo’s two other past lovers or Mariah Lynn still being petty for a come up, every minute mattered. But perhaps the most jaw-dropping moment came when Cardi “forever going to stir the pot and then pour it” B decided to talk with her hands and not with her lyrics. This time around, her producer/semi-crush Swift gave her his phone and there she found his girlfriend coming for her. Cardi wasn’t here for any of this and promised Swift that she would swiftly check his girlfriend on site if she ever saw her. Fun fact: Swift’s girlfriend is named Asia and she lives all the way in London — guess her parents are into cross-international things. Anyway, Asia decided to make her way into the states to check in for an unexpected edge-snatching that she could only get in the Big Apple. After Cardi and Swift’s performance, they headed back to his hotel where Asia magically appeared and got in a cat-fight immediately. Of course, security came to break it up — it was so ratchet the only thing that would have made it worse was if the background music was “Nuck If You Buck.” By the time things simmered down, Cardi was so enraged that she even threw her wig at the couple. Let’s just say we're praying for peace, kindness, and never to have to see Cardi’s scalp for the rest of the season.
All I wanted this season is to see one of my television baes come through with the talent. Jamal Lyon, the only actual eligible gay actor on the show that might respond to DMs, was going through it this first half of season 3 of Empire. This winter finale seemed like a revival for him. I mean all this time he was serving struggling vocals and no decent choreography. It was almost like watching some of our real musical faves not hang it up. Side-eying Ms. Keri babbbyyy. Anyways, leave it Cookie the plumber to restore him from his withdrawals and get his black behind on that stage to slay. We said yasssssss the entire time. We didn’t even have to hear the song to know that it was banging — kinda like some of y’all when you hear Beyoncé has a new single out that you haven’t heard yet. It was just truly lit to see him back in his element. Even though they took boo straight to rehab right after the performance, let’s just say he recovered a thousand lives that night with those fierce vocals.
Lee Daniels, aka the Tyler Perry of FOX, just gave us another new hit show that already got me clutching my imaginary pearls in shock and amazement. Star is not for the meek, hunny. The show pops off the moment you tune in. Stabbings, runaways, divas, hair salon shade and strippers all in one season premiere. I don’t even know what’s more impressive — the fact that Daniels had Queen Latifah rocking a Rihanna red wig effortlessly or that Joseline Hernandez made a brief cameo in a scene shot in Magic City that had me gagging. This new show about two separated foster children creating an interracial version of Destiny’s Child with a girl whose father is played by Lenny Kravitz has us already here for the drama. Chile, if you thought Empire had the mess, this looks like a soap opera version of Behind the Music mixed with Making the Band. Get your life and hold on to your edges with this show — don’t say we didn’t warn you in advance.
Until next week, Black America — remember to never throw wigs at your opponent no matter how angry you get and to not give up on your struggling vocal bae, for they may come through with the major-key glo-up!
(Photo: Chuck Hodes/FOX)