Black television this week was all tea with lots of shade. Whether it was Naomi Campbell playing the mother from hell or Yandy shocking us all over again — I sat perched with plenty to sip on. Here’s the jaw-droppers that had my eyebrows raised like Lynn Whitfield in a Tyler Perry drama.
It’s been a long time since I’ve got into the Real Housewives of Atlanta, but it’s still messy as ever. Ms. Phaedra Parks is now claiming Kandi, aka sex toy extraordinaire, is having a DL lesbian experience with her homegirl Shamae. But it’s the way she dropped this bombshell that was the most ratchet. As she sipped on an iced tea with Porsha Williams and Sheree, Phaedra speculated, insulted and gossiped like she’s got a Ph. D in Shade. We all know Kandi is married to Todd and they have a newborn baby — so why is Phaedra stirring the pot? Let’s pray that all these ladies keep their edges intact and concealer together and not throw hands, but olive branches.
Yandy Smith, I can’t with you. So far on this season’s Love & Hip Hop, “I was rooting for you” like Tyra Banks did for that ungrateful model. In the latest episode, you hit me and the rest of America off guard when you told your homegirls that you and Mendeecees have a “union,” but not with the government. Huh? What? Black Twitter scratched their scalps for a minute. I had to rewind that last part again, after about three replays, I was like, “Oh, she’s not legally married.” Way to leave us on a cliffhanger there, Yandy! Now, I’m not judging the rationale behind why the two choose not to take it to the courts — but after all of that “this is what a wife do” to the other baby mamas and reminding us every week that you’re the power of attorney — this just seems like tewwww much. Also, VH1 paid for a wedding that wasn’t even acknowledged by the state of New York! Chile, get it together — I’m trying to understand you, but don’t be confusing a brotha.
So the official season premiere of Lee Daniel’s next big show Star is already coming through with the heavy star-power cameos. While I thought the big gag was Tyrese playing a minister — take that all in real quick, exhale — it was the Mr. and Mrs. Slay for Days that had me in awe. Queen Naomi Campbell and King Lenny Kravitz played the estranged parents of girl group member Alexandra. The poor little rich girl ran away from them to come to Atlanta to launch her career independently, despite still holding their credit cards and connections. Entering the scene with a fierce white fur, an iconic bob and matching snatched eyebrows, Naomi stole the show better than any cameo I’ve seen on television in years. Her British accent was an international way of saying, “I didn’t come here to play with you hoes” when she arrived in every scene. Lenny Kravitz playing her dysfunctional rock star husband only made the tea boil more. By the end of the episode, poor Alexandra finally got the nerve to break away from them, but I’m hoping they come back and have us gasping for dear life again!
Until next week, Black America — remember to tell folks when things aren’t legal (such as your marriage), be grateful that your parents aren’t rock stars and shady British models that will come for you at every turn!
Watch how Noami Campbell was able to sympathize with Kim's Paris robbery with BET Videos above.
(Photos from left: Prince Williams/Getty Images, Paras Griffin/WireImage, David M. Benett/Dave Benett/Getty Images for Edward Enninful)