Black television this week basically told viewers to “cash me ousside” — everybody was fighting and throwing things during Love & Hip Hop, drama sizzled on The Quad and Queen Latifah wasn’t seeing any love on Star. Find out why so many bombs were dropped this week!
Someone needs to give Love & Hip Hop reunion host Nina Parker a Nobel Peace Prize. Every season, she tries to be the diplomatic one as things go left each reunion. But this year, not even her calm and collected demeanor saved the cast as they found new ways to get ratchet and drag each other effortlessly. When Cardi B couldn’t actually confront her situationship bae Swift’s ex girlfriend, Asia...she threw her shoe at her (yes, this was the same person she threw her lacefront wig at.) Shady Kimbella spoke for the rest of us when she said, “I feel like I’m at home watching Netflix,” while seeing these girls in red carpet gowns and over-the-top makeup act like the set was a boxing match. But the unthinkable happened when Yandy and “hubby” Mendeecees’s baby mamas began to have their 1,000th argument over the same BS. An audience member came to the stage to jump in the fight. Really? We tag-teaming for our faves now? Part two of the reunion is a few days away. I just might actually have to bring my own Vaseline and headwrap.
See, this is why GAMU can’t have nice things. Dr. Eva Fletcher is trying to save y’all and folks still can’t act right. This episode of The Quad had me rolling on the floor and in my feelings. Dr. Fletcher’s bougie alumni donor party was a hot mess, to say the very least. The band is beefing with the football players. Her secret student boo crashed the party only to try to get it in with her daughter...or just make her jealous. Either way, he’s trifling. Meanwhile, her biggest haters are salty as they sip Henny bitter at the fact that she’s making these coins roll in. And just when you think things couldn’t get worse, her light skin troublemaker-turned-rapper mentee decides he wants to drop lyrical shade that sets the whole party ablaze. It was heartbreaking to see Eva’s whole evening be ruined and for these ungrateful-ass children to act like they don’t have any home training. Deliver GAMU from the petty. Amen.
The Queen was going through it on Star this week. From being arrested on dropped murder charges to losing contact with her daughter, someone better check in and see if sis is OK. After her chocolate thunder pastor boo, played by Tyrese (because clearly there’s not enough Fast and Furious sequels to make), decided to show his self-righteous behind to the 100th degree, she’s been slipping hard. We find out that when she was younger, she was pregnant while she was locked up and didn’t even get to hold her baby during the delivery. Damn. Lee Daniels, you have given us Precious, The Butler, Empire and now you’re trying to get in our feelings with what has now become a television sequel to Precious. I can’t take it. This episode was depressing AF.
Until next week, Black America, keep your hands (and ratchet guests) to yourself and learn how to keep bougie Black parties civil by keeping “Knuck If You Buck”-type entertainment out of sight.
Watch Queen Latifah accept the award for Entertainment Icon at BET Presents: ABFF Honors, above.
(Photos from Left: BET, Wilford Harewood/Fox)