Two nights after Drake dissed him on stage at Madison Square Garden, Funkmaster Flex made good on his promise to spill the tea on Drizzy. Claiming he had a "story to tell" about the Toronto MC, the Hot 97 DJ took to the airwaves on Saturday night and went on a lengthy rant about Drake and addressed the long-standing rumors of his use of a ghostwriter with some very specific examples.
Much of the story, however, was Flex taking personal shots and Drake and his "sandal-wearing" fans, so to spare you the need to listen to the whole thing, we broke down the 5 biggest bombs dropped during the 25 minute address.
1. Drake's fanbase is largely female. "I got a few stories to tell tonight. I don't know which one I'm gonna tell first," Funkmaster Flex started. "First of all, Drake, I'm not really worried about you making me lose my job,” Flex said. “70% of your fans wear high heels. The other 30% are guys who wear sandals. I'm not concerned about you."
Well, this isn't really a revelation, is it? And last we checked, a sorority girl's cash is as green as dudes in Air Jordans.
2. The OVO boss could never be a Top 5 MC because he doesn't write all his own rhymes. “I don't know if you noticed, but everything is built on top 5,” Flex said, before admitting that Drake is a skilled entertainer who makes “great music” and has “great shows.” Still, he says, "If you have help on your music and on your bars to compete for that top 5 movement, that is an issue to me.” (See #4 for specific examples).
3. The full story behind Drake's infamous 2009 Hot 97 freestyle: "I’ve never commented on that freestyle, never talked about it,” Flex began of the freestyle Drizzy did in the studio while looking at a BlackBerry. "That freestyle, we rehearsed it first in this room. He had the BlackBerry out ... I had no idea he was gonna leave the Blackberry out," he said, going on to allege that Drake's own team, in fact, pushed for video of the freestyle to be released to prove that, while freestyling isn't his strong suit, he does write his own bars.
“They help circulate the video. I'm wondering, why would they put that out? You told Zane Lowe you didn't know the video was coming out. You calling a lot of people liars. Okay. Video comes out, everybody jokes on him on it, but everyone says, 'Yo, but he got bars,'" he said. "You wanted people to think that you write your bars. You wanted people to think on that BlackBerry, those were yours, that you wrote that. You wanted to solidify that because you knew this day would come when people might see or question your pen."
4. Drake's the one who leaked Quentin Miller's reference tracks for "R.I.C.O." Apparently, Drake did this because Meek's camp suspected him of subliminally dissing Meek in the "R.I.C.O." lyrics. According to Flex, OVO then panicked and leaked the reference track to get Drake off the hook, as if to say, "Whoa! He didn't write it. This guy wrote it!" Flex added, "In reality, you coughed up the reference track to not get pressed [by Meek]."
On the topic of Quentin Miller and ghostwriting, Flex said, “Let me tell you something for people who don’t understand the studio, 'cause I do. No rapper has a guy that could be or people thinkin' is writing for him in the studio directing you or standing next to you while you're in the booth unless he's writing the lyrics ... making sure the delivery's right.”
He suggested that Drake should have admitted he had “a couple people who helped me with a couple things” rather than try to “hide it.”
“Yes, he writes, but there's a couple key things he didn't, and that's just the way it is,” Flex declared.
“When those reference tracks came out ... you had Quentin Miller put out a press release,” Flex said, quoting Miller (Drake's alleged ghostwriter, whose reference tracks Meek Mill leaked to Funk Flex last year) as saying “I watched this man piece together words in front of me… I watched him write/ replace bars 2- 3 at a time on 6pm in NY.. I witnessed him light up, go in and freestyle madonna."
5. Drake's rumored fight with Diddy didn't go down the way it seems. Flex revealed that a 2014 fight that presumably went down between Drake and Diddy, while supposedly left the rapper's arm in a sling, wasn't exactly the brawl it's been made out to be. Flex explained that Drake's injury was actually caused by his own security guard, who pulled his arm out of his socket in an effort to get him away from the Bad Boy CEO, and not by Diddy's own fist.
Welp. Not much to see here, as they say. On the whole, despite a few juicy tidbits, Flex's "story" put us right to sleep. Drake already responded in kind, and hopefully this will be the last word between the two:
(Photos from left: Jared C. Tilton/Getty Images, Grant Lamos IV/Getty Images)