Let me tell y’all something. Some of us Olds still buy CDs. (And yes, Kendrick’s latest is available in a physical format!) Some of us still haven’t gotten the hang of streaming yet. And everyone is not trying to pay $9.99 a month for this service and that service—all for songs we don’t even own! Plus, where’s the album art? And the lyrics? And the credits? Hmph.
I’m not saying I buy physical CDs. But I can understand why some of my fellow Olds still do. And for the record, vinyl is coming back and cassette tapes so there. (Eminem recently announced The Slim Shady LP reissue on cassette)
As far as the usage of her slang. Yes, we will “drop bombs” all up and through our text messages and you will deal. Don’t you know the one and only Funkmaster Flex? That legendary DJ from NYC (age 48!) has been dropping bombs on hot tracks since the ‘90s. Ask B.I.G. and Tupac.
Do some research! We Old people have been saying bomb since the 1970s. Check out Charlie Wilson and The Gap Band singing You Dropped A Bomb On Me back in 1982 when Kendrick was 5 years old.
Now, on that note. Let me translate this text for you. As a mother of two who often sends congratulatory texts to her babies, I fully understand every word.
I’m actually not joking.
I’m going to say that about everything you release. And I’ll mean it every time.
I actually don’t understand why you look so stressed on the cover. I’m concerned and I want to know if you’re eating well on the road. And are me and your dad really stressing you out? You can tell me.
You know I worry about you when you’re overthinking. Let me make you something to eat.
Son, please don’t talk about sex.
I know that makes no sense. I’m still confused about you talking about making it look sexy.
Did I use these words right? Is milli rocking still a thing? And is Lil Ken Ken weak? Or am *I* weak while watching him. I’m not sure. But it’s funny.
I couldn't figure out how to find it. Was it on BET?
Was that safe? Now I’m worried for real.
But don’t forget Kendrick, I’m the most die hard fan of them all. Your father and I are overwhelmingly proud of what you are doing for music—and the world as a whole.
(Photo: Kevin Winter/Getty Images for Coachella)