Ciara got candid about her split from Future and the soul-searching journey that lead her to love. The R&B songstress sat down with the Pinkett-Smith ladies for their latest episode of The Red Table Talk, where she delved into the emotional healing and reflection that helped her gain some new beauty marks in the process. Although it did a number on her, she credits that moment for putting her on the path to finding the love of her life.
Here are some takeaways from the enlightening 25-minute conversation:
“It was a combination of everything because none of it was ideal,” Ciara began before delving into the final straw that led to her calling it quits on the relationship. “I remember one time I was working out on an elliptical machine and I was just not sure about do I stay or what direction do I go? What’s the right thing to do? It’s easy to do this but is the easy thing the right thing?”
Ciara called off her engagement to Future three months after giving birth to their son, Future Zahir, in 2014.
Although she was afraid of being a single mother, she ultimately took control of the situation by traveling all over of the world with her son to bond with her newborn, while finding the strength to love herself again.
"When I was thinking about my son, I know what I want to feel. I know the kind of love that I want for us and I think it's important to understand that too, because sometimes we give people on Earth more power than they should have."
Despite that fear that came with the choice, the course of action was the right one for what she envisioned for her personal affairs and love life, which was based on the example her parents' set.
“I grew up with my mom and dad being together, the idea of it being, ‘Mommy and Daddy made baby,’ then all of a sudden you’re living your life in front of the world. That adds a whole ‘nother layer,” she explained of her hesitation to end things with a child in the mix. “‘I feel like I’m failing right now. Other people, they’re gonna roast me. Here they come in the comment section. I’m about to get fried.”
She continued: “The one thing I fear in life is really wasting my life. I really fear that ‘cause you realize that time does not stop and it will be the worst scenario to stay in a situation that it’s just not healthy, it’s not going to get any better. I realized that I have to start making different decisions.”
“My dad’s love is what saved me in all my situations. I would think of him in the right moment,” she said, crediting her father for teaching her how to approach dating. “I’ve always had the same goal of wanting to be loved a certain way, but I was just looking in the wrong direction.”
"When Russ came into our lives, Future was two months old. It was different," Ciara admitted. "I had never had that feeling in my life. It was calm."
Even though her and Russell initially met as friends, CiCi felt an instant connection with him after a conversation among her, her dad and Russ where they talked about their views on life and marriage. She also recounted how her sports beau instantly took to baby Future and how he has gone above and beyond to show the two how much he cares for them everyday.
"That consistency is so crucial. Whenever he would think of me, he would think of my son and to love me is to love my son. It’s a different level of love."
Watch the full interview below.
(Photos from left: Prince Williams/Wireimage, Sean Zanni/Patrick McMullan via Getty Images)