There's a holiday whose date is etched into the brain of many a man and woman, even though they wouldn't dare write it on a calendar or tap a reminder into their smartphone. Hallmark does not have a section for its cards, but loads of niceties are exchanged in celebration. This special occasion falls on February 15 and although it has a name, few dare to say it aloud if they don't want to get into a screaming match. Side Piece Day is the 24 hours or 12 (or maybe just one hour that you can set aside when your legitimate special someone won't question your absence) when you get to shower that other special someone with enough affection to make them forget or not care that you're going home to someone else.
Here's a likely February 15 conversation being had in hotel rooms and clandestine locations not traceable by GPS: "Baby, don't even think about what I was doing last night...the entire time I was just thinking about when I could be with you."
It's a cheater's most important day of the year, a chance to stock up on good cheer and great sex before the inevitable "Where is this going? You're never gonna leave him or her, are you?" reality check. Yet, lo and behold, this year Side Pieces are in jeopardy, for nothing is worse for it than their day falling on a weekend. Because when your wife wants to extend her day into a Valentine's Day weekend, where does that leave your Side Piece? That's right. Alone.
So let's pour a little Prosecco out for the countless Side Piece celebrations that will die this year.
February 15, 2014, is going to feel colder than a Polar Vortex for many a cheater and their cheatee — which may be the most romantic Valentine's Day gift of all.
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