Stay Woke: Study Finds That Your Homies May Not Really Like You

(Photo: Plume Creative/Getty Images)

Stay Woke: Study Finds That Your Homies May Not Really Like You

Perhaps Drake was right with his “no new friends” mantra.

Published May 6, 2016

In this social media age, #SquadGoals seem more important than ever, but a new study will have you rethink your entire life—in a bad way.

By analyzing past data and creating a “friendship algorithm", researchers from Tel Aviv University and the Massachusetts Institute of Technology found almost half of the people we call our friends don’t view us that same way. Hell, they may not even like you that much, either.

Depressing, right?

Well, according to the report, this is hugely due to us just having really bad judgment about who we perceive to be our friends.

“Our difficulty determining the reciprocity of friendship significantly limits our ability to engage in cooperative arrangements. We learned that we can't rely on our instincts or intuition. There must be an objective way to measure these relationships and quantify their impact,” says Dr. Erez Shmueli, one of the study’s lead researchers.

The main way that we play ourselves is thinking our friendships are actually reciprocal when they aren’t.

"We found that 95 percent of participants thought that their relationships were reciprocal,” Shmueli says.  He added, "If you think someone is your friend, you expect him to feel the same way. But in fact that's not the case -- only 50 percent of those polled matched up in the bidirectional friendship category."

So how can you get savvier when it comes to identifying a homie that is completely legit? We've pulled together five simple ways to know that old girl (or boy) ain’t ish:

They Only Reach Out When They Need Something:

You know the friends that always go MIA when you need them, but the second they need money, a shoulder to cry on or help with their grad school essays, all of a sudden they can’t stop blowing up your phone. Real friendship isn’t solely about what you can do for them, but how you two support each other.

They Play Your Frenemy Too Often:

Being a mean girl is a no-no, especially when it comes with your own friends. If your pal is way too snide, competitive and seems like they are always trying to throw shade on the side, something else is going on. Drop them quick.

They Betray Your Trust

Confiding in your friends is a main perk of these bonds. But if notice that your business is being spread by someone you hold close, most likely they don’t really cherish you as their friend. 

They Never Invite You To Do Anything

This falls into the one-sided friendship issue. If you are always inviting them out to girls' night or happy hour, and you stay seeing post pics of their events on their social media pages and you are never in them, you need to wake up. 

They Refuse To Be Happy For You

When good things happen in your life, how willing are they to congratulate you or wish you well? Yes, jealousy among friends is going to happen from time to time, but when it's constant, you need to reevaluate your relationship with this person. 

In the end, we all have to be smarter about who we let into our lives and what their purpose is. Remember: You don't need a whole bunch a friends to be whole, just a few good ones that we never have to question if they have our backs. 

Written by By Kellee Terrell

(Photo: Plume Creative/Getty Images)


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