Recently, rapper and actor T.I. let it slip that the reason that ATL 2 was still a pipe dream was because co-star Lauren London is having a baby. Soon after, folks on multiple comment threads wished her a safe and healthy pregnancy. But, of course, there was also the hypocritical judgment.
London was accused of being a “thot” and a gold digger. Why? Because her second baby’s father is reportedly Nipsey Hussle and the first is rapper Lil Wayne. Guess we missed the memo that it’s incredibly problematic for women to have children with more than one man. Funny how Oscar-winning actress Kate Winslet has three kids with three different men and no one says anything about that.
Hmm…wonder what’s that about?
But riddle me this: When men such as Lil Wayne, Future, Diddy, Eddie Murphy, DMX, Swizz Beats, Antonio Cromartie and Dwyane Wade have multiple children with multiple women, why are they not ridiculed in the same way? No doubt, their common sense and lack of condom use comes into question, but their overall character and worth do not.
We excuse their indiscretions and say, “Well as long as they pay for these kids…” while we rake women, especially Black women, over the coals for having the audacity to keep their babies. But be clear: If they chose to have an abortion, we would have a lot to say about that, too.
Another day, another example of the misogynistic double standards that women are forced to live with. Do as men say, but not as men do. Remind me again how that’s fair?
But what’s really interesting in London’s situation is that her biggest naysayers were women (GASP!). Jokes aside, this really shouldn’t surprise anyone. Just because men create and perpetuate sexism doesn’t mean women can’t and don’t co-sign on it.
Trust: It happens all the time.
I often think of women I know who blame other women for being hit by their boyfriend or spouse or wondered why Bill Cosby’s accusers didn’t come forward years ago or didn’t call the police. Or the girls who stay talking about #SquadGoals, but who live to slut-shame Amber Rose for her outfits and then accuse Ayesha Curry of using her husband’s fame to get ahead with her cooking career.
Better yet, all the crazed Beyoncé fans who harassed any woman who they suspected was Becky With the Good Hair, but had NOTHING to say to Jay Z about his alleged philandering ways. Or all the folks on Twitter who love John Legend but called Chrissy Teigen a neglectful mother for leaving her baby with a sitter to have a damn meal.
Ladies, this is what being bamboozled and what self-hate looks like.
No, you don’t have to agree with what all women do, but you don’t have to do all this either. And to be clear, this all speaks to something much larger than female pettiness. This is a symptom of women being constantly undervalued, untrusted and unloved — and that ain’t start with us and it won’t end with us, either.
But regardless of which line in the Battle of the Sexes you stand behind, if you refuse to come for men for the same “bad acts,” then please leave the ladies alone and let them live. Seriously.
Follow Kellee on Twitter @kelleent
The opinions expressed here do not necessarily reflect those of BET Networks.
(Photo: Alberto E. Rodriguez/Getty Images)
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