For all of us who still hold on to Mariah Carey's appearance on MTV's Cribs as a transcendental moment in reality TV, Christmas is coming early this year.

The self-proclaimed diva's docuseries (don't you dare call it a reality show) Mariah's World is set to premiere this December, and the first trailer for the show just glitter-bombed us into shock and awe. The show is described as "an eight-part exploration of Carey’s life as she navigates her engagement to Australian billionaire James Packer, her upcoming European tour and the behind-the-scenes drama of her Las Vegas residency, Mariah #1 to Infinity,” but the two-minute clip promises peak Mariah — crazy vocal exercises, lingerie, subtle shade, more lingerie, cute puppies and more lingerie.

Here are eight lessons Mimi has already taught us based on the trailer alone:

1. Ditch the Lululemon — lingerie is the only appropriate attire for lounging around your manse. “Is this a normal outfit for people to wear? I don’t know, but I’m home and this is what I wear!”

2. Request puppies for "cute" moments. Did we say request? We meant demand.

3. Have oiled-up men carry you everywhere. Even when it's just to grab a bottle of water.

4. Always bring your own throne. Chairs are for average people.

5. Be forever 21. "I haven't been on tour in Europe since at least 10 years ago when I was 10, so I was just like, let's just show the behind the scenes and what its really takes to do a tour," she said during a TCA panel on Wednesday.

6. Separate yourself from the herd. "We call it a docuseries because it feels like more of a documentary. I don't watch reality … I don't even know what reality is."

7. But don't lose touch with the little people. This prank Mariah pulls on a fan during the trailer is everything. Who knew she was so funny?

8. Keep 'em guessing always. Asked about what — and who (her ex-husband Nick Cannon, for one) — will be on the show, Mariah offered frustratingly few details. "It's difficult to say how much of anything will be there until a little further along," she said. "[Nick] is cool about being on the show and very supportive. He came around, but I don’t know what makes the final cut."

December couldn't come soon enough.