Well “cuffing season” is over. The groundhog has seen his shadow, which means in most places the temperature on the average is about to be 60 degrees or higher and guess what? Relationships are DOOMED! Sad but true. People want to be free, single and ready to mingle.
This is not surprising if you think about it. The signs are always there, sometimes we just ignore them. I sit and listen to the same stories often and think to myself, “How the hell did you not know she wanted to break up?” And the responses usually are, “I didn’t know it was an issue!” Really?
So people, how do we know when a relationship is over? When do we know that a breakup is coming?
Well Drake already told us that when “she starts wearing less and going out more," the relationship is about to be over.
I was curious to know what some of the signs to look for are when the breakup is coming. Hell, its better to be prepared than get caught off guard looking crazy.
So I asked various guys for some of the signs to help enlighten my fellow comrades. To add creditability to this, I even asked some ladies to chime in.
One guy I asked, who I think to be probably one of the most observant guys I know, said “your girl may randomly ask certain questions over the course of weeks/months to ‘understand’ certain things, but it's really adding to the conclusion they are working toward, which is either breaking up or seeing other people.” “Good Morning” texts go from long explanations with delightful emoticons to one-word responses like “morning” or the dreadful one letter text like “K.” Your communication channel drastically changes. In some cases, it becomes more transactional. It goes from simple convos like “How was your day?” to more of “Can you take out the trash?”
Uh-oh! Now you should be sweating. The first thought usually is “She must be having sex with someone else!” And maybe the next thought is, “Is she pregnant?” But we usually don’t think, “Hey, she may no longer be interested!” At this stage, you go from having sex frequently to maybe every once in a while or, even worse, only when y'all are drunk! Tragic. What to do? If guys have friends we are close to, we usually ask, “Bruh, what does it mean when you don’t have sex anymore or not as often?” The friend, who already knows what that means but doesn't want to shatter your ego, says something basic and comforting like, “Ahhh, don’t worry about it. Its probably just a phase. Me and my EX went through that!” Keyword? “EX.” What he should be telling you in layman's terms is, “Houston, we have a problem.”
You start experiencing that feeling of resentment. The energy has shifted and your partner wants to spend less time with you. Being together feels more like a chore for them and you see it and feel it. “Conversations about the relationship are strained and you two are not as authentic and transparent as you once were” one guy described. At this point, sex is not just the only lacking factor, it's intimacy that has begun to fade away. Your partner is staring off into space while hanging with you. One woman mentioned, “I probably won't be enthusiastic about the same things. Even the nice things [my boyfriend] attempts to do will seem like empty gestures to me. My energy changes and I get quiet." Hashtag: weird vibes!
This is the pivotal moment. This is the stage where the wake-up call is a little louder. If you make it to this stage, I would recommend slowly packing your s**t or at least putting it somewhere easily accessible. Keep the overnight bag in the trunk of your car, because some nights you won’t be sleeping in the same house. Women have admitted that this to them is the “petty stage” and it is when they are not really sure what they want, but most of the time they have decided that they are OK with you leaving. EVERYTHING YOU DO ANNOYS THEM AT THIS STAGE. And I am not talking about pissing on the toilet seat or leaving your shoes in the living room. No it’s deeper. Stuff that was never ever thought to be a problem is for damn sure a problem now! The way you eat a cracker annoys them. All of sudden your snoring is something they cant live with. I was dating someone once who got mad at me for spitting in the bathroom sink after rinsing my mouth out from BRUSHING MY TEETH during this stage. “I know a breakup is coming when we start having bigger fights for no reason. Also things that use to be my strengths now become my issues," one guy described. I've seen people claim that their boyfriend is the best communicator “in the world” but easily turned to the worst communicator ever during this stage! Warning: This is the Waiting to Exhale stage. She is most likely to set all your stuff on fire. “Say something!”
If you are fortunate enough to endure the fights because the love is so strong to you or you're just delusional and don’t get the picture, the shady friends will help drill it in your head. So at this stage, your partner has basically stopped communicating with you, stopped doing you, being “normal” to you and completely annoyed by you. So guess who knows this? Their shady friends! No matter if you are gay, straight, Black, white or yellow with polka dots, the shady friends are consistent in their roles. Who are the shady friends? Well, they range. You may know them as a sibling of your partner or most commonly a best friend that you didn’t know never saw it for your relationship until this stage. At this point, a shady friend can be some random person in the checkout line at the grocery store who has something to say to help bury the relationship. The floodgate will be opened for the comments like “I told you he wasn’t good for you” to “My best friend said this relationship is not healthy for me” and so on and so forth. And now the shady friends (“pit bulls”) have permission to speak freely, serve judgmental stares and pick up on trifling details while observing your demise. The shady friends are stalking your social media account and looking for random connections or anything that they can take back to your partner to help put you to rest. Most of these shady friends are either single or ironically in a relationship that may be good, but they are bored as hell. At this stage, shady friends are saying things to your partner like “Have you heard of Tinder?”
During this stage, there is a plethora of random new “friends.” I mean they are coming out of nowhere! Social media followers, 3 a.m. texts from “MJ” or “Walgreens.”Sorry bro, Walgreens aint texing your girl. That is most likely someone she met there! “[Your partner] will stop questioning and asking about the little things they would normally care about” and some guys say this is when “new "friends" you never heard about may start to pop up in conversation. Even old friends that were once a love interest.” At this point, the relationship has stopped being interesting. This is the stage where all of a sudden the person becomes too busy. Too busy to hang out. Too busy to return a call. Too busy to have you in their life, basically! Both sexes I spoke with agreed that once you reach this stage, the break up is IMMINENT and the other person becomes distant and less affectionate. Back in the day, you knew you'd reached the end of the road when you got that “we need to talk” call.
In 2017, people are savages and you get that text: “I am leaving you. I am over it!”
For the past 10 years, Yusef has been dictating all of the beauty trends we emulate via his most famous client, none other than Rihanna. He started out his career as a performer, but he ended up behind the scenes. In Hairstory, he details his rise in the industry from aspiring singer to creative directing the hair for Fenty x Puma.