I should not be this giddy that 2017 seems to have taken it upon itself to personally drag white women by their clip-in "extensions"... and particularly knock Kendall and Kylie Jenner down several pegs in their well-established pecking order.
And yet, here I am. Because truth is? It's about damn time.
I say this mostly because the Kardashian-Jenner clan — who are (ethnic) white women — have been a pain in the collective side of Black women for a long while.
And in the better half of these 20-teens, Kylie and Kendall Jenner have mostly been the ones serving up that whopping helping of eye-roll-worthy behavior to great social media/media fan fare. But that is certainly starting to change.
And that sentiment was cemented into social media consciousness forever when Voletta Wallace, mother of legendary rapper Biggie Smalls, read them for filth recently for having the audacity to superimpose their faces on the stolen likenesses of Tupac, Biggie Smalls, Ozzie Osbourne and more.
Mind you, neither Kylie or Kendall decided to approach the respective estates of Shakur or Smalls or the living Osbournes and etc. And because of this, they are facing a lawsuit from the Doors and I am truly hoping Voletta and Sharon cash in on this, as well as the spirit of Afeni Shakur.
That said, it's hard to decipher what exactly was going on in their heads when they decided to do this.
Sike. It's not, because I imagine it has a little to do with the game of staying relevant:
I know what you're thinking.
Well, Clarkisha, every time I turn around, somebody is dragging them for doing something headless. Isn't that the goal? To be as mentioned in these news cycles as often as possible? Even if said coverage is bad?
Great question. It has long been said that any press, even bad press, is good press... and I have always said that that is a bunch of bullshit.
Yes, while having your name in news cycles even if it's bad, is good in theory (especially in the age of our current president), when that becomes all you are known for, in the case of Kylie and Kendall, and when your name can't really be mentioned without eliciting the disgust of millions, that's not exactly good for your brand or your business.
Indeed. While the Jenners happen to be the most notorious of the sisters at the moment, who really likes them?
Think about it. In all of these things that Kendall and Kylie have been dragged for this year (hijacking the resistance movements of Black and brown folks and continuous theft from Black women), the cycle has been the same.
Here it goes: a Jenner exists. A Jenner decides to turn a dollar. They go out and do something headless (to the detriment of Black women usually). We catch wind of this. We drag and roast them for a week and only a week. We forget about them shortly afterward, probably when a new Twitter meme emerges and they fade back into oblivion temporarily to lick their wounds and heal their White woman fee-fees since they assume they're the real victims here.
Rinse and repeat. It's the circle of life and the wheel of misfortune that we have had the displeasure of being caught up in.
But you want to know the ironic part? This used to work. As in, the Kardashian-Jenner clan stealing from Black women (and Black folx at large) and making it their own used to work. But now? It's not. And to be honest, I have a couple of reasons why, but mainly one should suffice:
To be clear, Kim does not get to excluded from the conversation on stealing from Black women.
Mrs. Kardashian-West has gotten off on being arm-candy for an assortment of famous Black men and for copying the aesthetic and appeal of Black women... but without the Black part. And it is only very recently that she has been trying to acknowledge her part in this, no doubt to what I assume is some self-awareness that was probably gained from giving birth to North West, her biracial Black daughter.
And yet... she didn't succeed on this alone. Nah.
If you think so, I'ma need you to open your eyes a little. Because love her or hate her, Kim knows how to entertain. And she, and her mother Kris, are the queens of "the spin".
Revisiting memory lane, Kardashian-West burst onto the scene with the release of her sex tape with Ray J. and while that had every potential to bury her forever, she and her mother spun that shit into gold. A porn tape turned into perfumes deals. Game apps. Acting gigs. A song. She scored a reality show (and multiple spin-offs even for her family).
And even years after the inciting incident, girl is still relevant. She is a master of social media... whether we like it or not. A mere naked selfie from her will throw the internet into a tizzy and she proved her social media might by taking on another powerful white girl and WINNING.
Love her or hate her, the woman is one of the savviest business women around and has adapted with the times. And? She ain't boring. She might be problematic, but she's definitely not boring.
And that is Kylie and Kendall's problem.
They have the nerve to be unanimously problematic and still somehow manage to have the appeal of limp toast and put us all to sleep when they're not pissing Black women off for their one designated week a month.
I mean, seriously. What are they known for? Besides being shitty culture vultures?
I mean, Kendall is doing the whole modeling thing. She tried to distance herself from her name and family in order to garner authenticity in the industry. You know, do that one thing you do where you don't like your family, so you turn into the hella bougie one who is too good to be seen with them and you tend to skip all the family events save for Thanksgiving because you know your Grandma Lisa would beat you and your mink coat-wearing ass if you didn't stop by to see her.
She thought modeling would be her in (as if she didn't score that based on her name and cultural capital stemming from Kim). But she certainly did not inherit Kim's appeal. Her success in the niche luxury fashion space came crashing down when she decided to go mainstream with that now infamous Pepsi ad.
Kylie is an even more hilarious story, because to me? It is very obvious that she assumed she was gonna be the next Kim.
She followed big half-sis's blue print. She dated famous Black men (if a C-Lister like Tyga counts). She went under the knife (I assume) to copy the Black woman aesthetic as well. She was always on top of stealing Black trends and presenting them to mainstream media as her own. And she started building her empire of products marketed by her own image.
But just like Kendall, Kylie is still boring as shit. She doesn't have the appeal or mystique that Kim still does and she too lacks that work ethic.
So... what do you do when you are boring and lazy to the world, and you know it? Well, my loves, you stick with gimmicks!
Gimmicks like Columbus-ing an entire resistance movement and thinking no one will clock you for it. Gimmicks like stealing a Black woman's entire clothing line and thinking that said Black woman isn't gonna lawyer up faster than Eduardo did in The Social Network.
And because you aren't smart enough to realize that gimmicks are only good for as long as the controversy's shelf-life is, you will — and are — doomed to repeat the cycle... and eventually run into someone who won't take your gimmicky attempt at relevance lightly at all.
And perhaps that is why I am so elated that the Doors are squaring up on the Jenners now.
Because to me? This latest dragging of Kendall and Kylie is a blended culmination of karmic retribution for years of Kardashian-Jenners trying to leech "Black Cool" dry for the last two decades as well as a confirmation that once again, white mediocrity has no place at the table in 2017.
So Kylie and Kendall can either eat their L politely and go sit down like the Taylors and ScarJos and Lenas before them OR... they can continue the circle of trife.
And that's tea.
(Photo: Donato Sardella/Getty Images for Neiman Marcus)
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