One of the best parts of my job involves the opportunity to engage in unique conversations about how people are living their lives. During these conversations, people tend to overshare their guilty pleasures, insecurities, nightmares, and even weird fantasies with me. Believe it or not, most of these conversations take place with a sober mind, free from alcohol, drugs or other uninhibitors. Some people, guys particularly, just like to talk to a nonjudgmental ear.
Ladies are always asking me why guys cheat when discussing dating or relationships. So I decided to ask that question to several men to get the answer straight from the horse's mouth. But I'd first like to preface by saying that guys are not the only ones who cheat. I think the general question, for clarification, is “Why do people cheat?” Thank God for HBO's Insecure highlighting that women F up too and cheat — but I digress. This is about the dudes, so let's get to these reasons.
We guys tend to like the idea and excitement of something new. For SOME guys, this is like kryptonite! The rush that comes with experiencing something new places them in a mental sexual trance. Men know it’s wrong to cheat, but can’t help themselves from being a moth drawn to the exotic flame! After that encounter, the guy quickly snaps out of this trance, but the damage is done. This trance is real!
After a guy has been in one relationship for a while, he can fall victim to this toxic curiosity. They say curiosity kills the cat, but we guys truly believe that satisfaction brought him back. Guys often want to have a sexual experience to compare it with what they have at home to see if it’s as good as or better than the main girl. Every girl affects men differently. Some women have that appeal which makes us curious to touch. Women, thank social media for this. MOST times it’s not worth it.
A guy can have the best girl but still cheat on them with an Instagram thot. *cough* Jay-Z *cough* If you ask why, it is simply because they want to know if they still got it. These seemingly perfect women are not enough to satisfy their ego and some men need more validation for other women. It’s a toxic attitude that makes these men feel it’s their nature to cheat because they can.
A guy who has cheated may admit to you that they were undecided when it came to what they wanted and found the quickest path to break any ties of commitment. This is very common. While in college, the idea of commitment scared me stupid. I always kept at least five women in dating rotation to avoid committing to one. Even if I like one a lot, the guilt of the other four ensured I never committed to the main one. My commitment issues came from greed. I wanted to able to have options. So anytime I felt I was getting too close, I would cheat. Thank God I am still alive today to tell that sad story, even though one girl drove my car through my garage door.
Communication skills are not every guy's strongest quality. As a guy who thinks he communicates very well, I know WE sometimes lack the ability to communicate proactively versus reactively. Sure, I can tell my woman I am horny or I want to try different things in the bedroom. However, I struggle with telling her anything slightly negative because I am trying to spare her feelings. Those simple issues become a motivation to cheat on her with someone else.
Surprised? Boredom comes in many forms, not just in the bedroom. If you don't have a girl around, chances are you're bored. This drives the guy to sitting in random bars alone to buy time. One of those nights he will run into an old ex at the bar grabbing a drink. That drinks results in “an accident.” Nowadays, there are a million dating [hook up] apps out there to easily satisfy this boredom. Why waste time sliding in a DM on Snapchat when you've got an app made for hooking up? If you ask a guy why he cheated, the top answer probably will be boredom. Long distance will almost always mean cheating.
I know this sounds bad, but women, the good news is that not all guys cheat. There are some good quality men out there looking for great women. Guys, the bad news is that women cheat too. And when they do, it’s on a next level that involves your child being on another man’s yacht and the man wearing your Versace robe. Just ask Blac Chyna.
(Photo: BraunS/Getty Images)
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