Everything 'Insecure' Is Not Saying About Open Marriage

(Photo: Justina Mintz/courtesy of HBO)

Everything 'Insecure' Is Not Saying About Open Marriage

Certified dating coach Damona Hoffman breaks down Molly's sticky situation on "Insecure."

Published September 5, 2017

Whether you love or loathe Molly on Insecure, you know you were screaming at the TV when she first hooked up with Dro, an old friend in an alleged open marriage. Admit it, you fell for it too when he drew a bath for her and your heart sank when he hastily left Molly to run after wifey. But after this week's episode, "Hella Disrepectful," when Molly finally decided being the third wheel in this relationship wasn't for her, we were still left wondering, "How exactly does this whole open marriage thing work?"

As a certified dating coach, I’m here to set the record straight on open marriage by answering the questions you’ve always been curious about but were afraid to ask.

  1. What Are the Rules?

    The rules of every open marriage are unique and most couples will determine their own guidelines when they decide to become non-monogamous. Some allow their partner to form meaningful connections with someone outside of the marriage, others look at sexual non-monogamy as separate from emotional intimacy.

  2. Is This Something Dudes Made Up to Have More Sex?

    According to a study by Open Minded, a dating site for married people, about 5 percent of couples define their relationship as non-monagamous. Statistically speaking, it is the woman in most marriages that suggests non-monogamy and often she is the one who has more relationships and dates outside of the marriage. 

  3. Can Someone in an Open Marriage Have a Regular Boo On the Side?

    In many open marriages, the couples agree that each partner may not only have sex outside of the marriage but also can form a relationship with a boyfriend or girlfriend.

  4. Is the 3rd Person in a Relationship With Both Partners?

    Technically any person having sex or in love with more than one person is polyamorous. However, there are polyamorous arrangements in which the third person is in a relationship with both married partners and there are situations where the third person may simply date one of the partners. In either instance, it’s not uncommon for them all to live together or to spend time on group dates.

  5. Can It Really Work?

    Often couples report a resurgence of passion in their relationship after deciding to open their marriage. More than likely, Dro and his wife will be just fine but what will happen to Molly? Will Molly be comfortable as the side chick? The consensual side chick, but still…Would Dro ever leave his wife for Molly? Or could Molly get caught up in some freaky ménage trois marriage?

    Looks like Molly has some decisions to make. In the meantime, we’ll be over here with our popcorn.

Written by Damona Hoffman

Damona Hoffman is a certified dating coach and TV personality (from #BlackLove and A Question of Love on FYI TV.) She gives weekly dating and relationship advice on The Dates & Mates radio show and podcast.

(Photos from left: Justina Mintz/courtesy of HBO)


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