Hot Topic!: What Real Women Said They Would Do If Their Man Wanted To Change Their Appearance

Would You Change Your Appearance Like Tamar Braxton If Their Man Wanted Them To

Hot Topic!: What Real Women Said They Would Do If Their Man Wanted To Change Their Appearance

Kim K. and Tamar started it.

Published May 31, 2018

Alright ladies, get into this hot topic! Recently, Kim Kardashian celebrated her wedding anniversary with husband Kanye West. As a “gift” to Kanye, Kim shared on her insta-stories,"I am back blonde, Kanye's favorite is blonde, so I did it for our anniversary."

Back in March, Tamar Braxton also revealed that she bought 150,000 blonde wigs to please her now estranged husband, Vince, because he “liked blonde head, light, fair women." She later did the big chop and said she was “finally free.”

Given the above incidents, we began discussing the question, would you alter your appearance to please your man? Why? Why not? Not just switching up something as small as your hair, but anything about your appearance - complexion, body shape, teeth, or WHATEVER it may be. Most of the BET Style team said, "issa no," but obviously we wanted to hear from the ladies.

So, we asked real women the same question, and here’s what they had to say:

  1. "I can give him Sarah and Kesha"

    “I would alter my appearance to please my man as long as the change isn't drastic and I like it too. I'm not making myself look like a totally different person. If that's the case, go find what you're looking for. But I can give him Sarah and Kesha in the same week.”  -Jenkel, 26

  2. "Dating someone white, I definitely get scared"

    "I personally would never alter my looks for a significant other. Dating someone white, I definitely get scared to alter my looks as a Black woman. But his opinion of me definitely didn’t stop me from doing the big chop or anything. My thought process was, 'He liked me with hair, he better like me without it.'" – Gina, 22

  3. "Authenticity is key"

    "I feel like I would be the person to teeter on both sides of the line here. On one side I would want to do something nice for the one that I love, so if that is wearing a certain outfit or makeup I’m OK with that. However, I would never alter my appearance if it was something that I know would not make me happy. Authenticity is key here, and a special person in your life would never want to change that!" – Shan, 27

  4. "bish I’m going to 'Wig World'"

    “If my man wants to see me in a blonde wig then bish I’m going to Wig World tomorrow!! OK?! I told my man to go bald and he’s bald.” - Brittany, 27

  5. "importance of give and take within a relationship"

    "Considering the importance of give and take within a relationship, I would alter my appearance, but with limitations, of course. I would not go as far as changing my body type (surgery), but something reversible like changing my hair color or hairstyle isn’t a big deal. It has to be a pure desire and reasonable." – Martika, 28

  6. "society constantly tries to dictate how I should look"

    "If a man expects me to alter the way I look to appease him, then we’re just not meant to be. As a Black woman, society constantly tries to dictate how I should look, what’s acceptable and how I should show up the world. My significant other (the person who I expect to love me for me—flaws and all) is the absolute last person I need pressuring me to exist as someone other than myself."  – Kiera, 27

  7. "do it before he gets another woman that will"

    “I don’t see anything wrong with giving into a look that your man likes and trying it out to appease him, especially if he’s willing to do it as well. If it’s reasonable, temporary and looks good on me, why not? I’m gonna do it before he gets another woman that will!” -Brielle, 27

  8. "so much power and liberation in being confident in yourself"

    "I believe that there is a balancing act modifying your appearance for a significant other. I'm all for making certain alterations that I know my significant other prefers on occasions. I believe that if my significant other truly loves me he would respect and appreciate how I choose to wear my hair, makeup, etc. It's so much power and liberation in being confident in yourself and your appearance!" – Ty, 25

  9. "Unless I ask, otherwise hush"

    “Nope. He better love me with blue, pink or rainbow hair. And I will not be taking any requests from others on my appearance. Unless I ask, otherwise hush.” - Jaz, 27

  10. "I need to be sure that my man loves me for me first"

    "This is tough one. Before changing my appearance I need to be sure that my man loves me for me first. If he can't accept me for who and what I look like, he's not the one. Once we've established that he care for me (as I am) I would only alter my appearance if I too like the look." – Sharae, 28

     

  11. "Take me as I am or find someone else"

    "I would never alter my appearance to please my man. He knew what he was getting when he met me. Changing a simple hair color can lead to other suggestions and requests. Take me as I am or find someone else." - Tanasia, 26 

  12. "physical shape and/or weight I would NEVER EVER change "

    "Well, yes and no. I believe that we should always find little ways to keep our partners happy and do things only they like from time to time. When it comes to my physical shape and/or weight I would NEVER EVER change that for ANY man. If he met me with a certain shape/weight then he would have to accept me at that. My motto has always been 'you can love it or leave it,' because it really is that simple :-)" – Danyell, 29

  13. "Throw on a wig that he loves in the bedroom"

    "Chile, alter how? I mean to keep the relationship exciting and spicy, then I may change up my lipstick or throw on a wig that he loves in the bedroom from time to time. But otherwise, I’m not altering my look permanently to keep him happy. Absolutely not." – Tina, 30

  14. "my man likes, no, LOVES the 'natural' me"

    "Honestly, I don't think I would go out my way to change my appearance for my man. I'll take note to his likes and dislikes when it comes to how I dress or look but I would hope my man likes, no, LOVES the 'natural' me without the highlights, tinted eyebrows and 20 inch weave or even the fro and make up free skin."  – Shenicqua, 27

  15. "I do it because I want to and not because he is requiring me"

    "I'm all about doing something fun to please your man—fun being the key word! I'm an old fashioned kind of girl and love going above and beyond for the person I'm dating, BUT I do it because I want to and not because he is requiring me to. Beauty should be fun and make you feel good, and as long as that is the case then by all means go for it and get your man, honey!"  – Diandra, 28

Written by Shalaeya Brown

(Photo: JB Lacroix/ WireImage)(Photo: Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images)

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