Gucci Mane and Keyshia Ka’oir nuptials showed us that going the extra mile, even if inconvenient, is what love is all about. Prior to possibly the biggest wedding of the year, Keyshia admitted in an interview that she fell in love with Gucci after she bathed him. Yes, bathed! On The Real, she cleared up the statement by noting that in Jamaica to "bathe" is to take a "shower." But she attested to being willing to wash her man's back with no qualms. "That's why I got a ring, baby," she told the hosts regarding her 25-carat rock. "You got to keep him." The two ultimately, happily, walked down that 1.7 million dollar aisle, so she may have the right idea.
However, some critics perceived her actions as being overly submissive prompting us to ask, "How much is TOO much when it comes to your man?” To get to the bottom of this, we spoke with both single and married Black millennial women to see how far they were willing to go for the ring.
Here's what the ladies say is "not too much":
Kalena, 29: “Once we’re further along and they are allowed in my home, I cook a lot. To let them know they’re special, I give really good massages with the works. Light crackling candles in the bergamot-vanilla-musk fragrance range. Men love that. After a long day at work, I draw a bath with fragrant oils and sea salt and cook for him. When he gets in, I give him a bath with massagers, loofahs and scrub brushes, which most men have zero idea exist, and feed him. Bathing [a man] is dope. Most men that I know, don’t get to enjoy washing. They are, like, in and out of the shower. I love showering and bubble baths, so I make it fun and luxurious and share it with my special guy. They love me forever and ever. The end. My aces know about the bathing, etc. I think Keyshia came off a little weird. People are trying to make her out to be a witch because Gucci changed so much and because she is a Caribbean gal. People are crazy. Keyshia, I totally get it!”
Iman, 29: "Some women are just like that. Nothing wrong with that. Bathing guys is not my thing, but liking guy’s pics until they DM you may not be another girl’s thing either. That is what I tend to do when I am expressing interest to someone. We are in the age of social media!”
Devyni, 27: "To get a guy’s attention that I was feeling, I liked a few of his recent IG pics and then posted a really bomb-ass one on my page. Then he DM’d me right then. Worked like a charm! But when it comes to a serious relationship or marriage, if the actions are reciprocated, then in my eyes there’s not really ‘too much.’ I am not bathing a guy and you just treat me like the help instead of your queen or equal. There has to be respect and love involved.”
Brittany, 30, “I gave a guy a key to my apartment. Even though I was still seeing other people, it was to show him that I was really into him. Keys are very symbolic. [It meant to him] he had access! I wanted that to be loud and proud! When you are degrading yourself to please a man, that’s too much! But when its real love, like Gucci and Keyshia, too much is never enough!”
Chantel, 28: “I almost never offer to pay when I first meet a guy. But [with] the guy I’m dating now, on the third date I actually initiated the date and paid because I really liked him and I wanted him to know that I was interested in him, too.”
April, 35: “I actually paid him some attention. I returned his phone calls, I went to the game to see him play AND I returned the favor of paying for date night. Usually, I wouldn’t do any of those things and date night, just forget it. I wasn’t even going if he wasn't paying.”
Jill, 26: "In the beginning, if I like a guy… I made sure I’m always put together in front of him. Think Beyoncé red carpet! Like done! If you walk into the house and I’m in my holey tights, a big shirt and my silk scarf is tied, you sir are in the friend zone.”
Khalena, 25: “When I am really interested in a guy out the gate, I over perform. I dress to the nines. I make sure that I’m not on par with other women but pay attention to all the physical details from hair to eyebrows, clothes, bags, to really expensive perfumes and body oils. I’ve learned that every man doesn’t want that girl next door and they feel really special when you go all out for them.”
Tiffany, 25: “If I see a guy that I like and I sense he’s feeling me too, I’ll walk past him or place myself near him. It’s flirty and shows I am available to be approached. As a WIFE, I don’t think there’s such a thing. I think there are limitations though in terms of girlfriends. But I don’t mind being more approachable than usual.”
Selina, 22: “When I first started dating my man, we met in a threesome. Long story. But he is really into them. I would say we sort of have an open relationship, but we do everything together. Some things I wasn’t into or good at, like oral sex. So he loves it, having another woman do it turns him on. My sister tells me all the time that’s too much. But I rather it be in the house versus him cheating on me.”
(Photo: Cendino Teme)