It’s not every day that you see someone post a pic of ladies’ night out with their boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. But it’s not everyday that your ex is Diddy, a man with six kids from three different mothers.
While everyone is busy attacking Cassie for spending time with Diddy’s ex Sarah Chapman, I’m toasting her with champagne because, as a dating and relationship coach, I know that if she is able to have a friendship or even a frenemy-ship with his former girl, Cassie is the one winning at love. Here’s how you can benefit from following Cassie’s lead and finding some love for your boyfriend’s ex:
Show You Are a Boss – Jealousy and fear are the emotions that pop up in a relationship when you feel insecure, either because of your partner’s prior transgressions or because you are coming into the relationship with pre-existing wounds. To be able to connect with a woman your man once loved shows you are in total control and are standing in a place of complete confidence in the relationship.
Keep Your Friends Close and Your Enemies Closer – Let’s be honest, Diddy doesn’t have the best relationship track record. He has a history of starting relationships before officially ending the one he’s in. In fact, his daughter with Sarah arrived five months BEFORE the twins he had with his ex Kim Porter. The best indicator of how someone will act in the future is how they behaved in the past, so Cassie is having her rosé with a side of research.
You’re More Alike Than Different – If your man saw something in her and also something in you, chances are you two have something in common. Taking your boyfriend out of the equation, this might be a woman that you really connect with if you’re open to a friendship developing.
Get Right With the Baby Mama – Let’s remember that Sarah Chapman isn’t just some fling of Diddy’s - they have a child together. This means that she will be in his life forever. If you can’t at least be cordial with your boo’s ex, you are either dooming your relationship to fail or signing yourself up for a life of drama. Just look at Diddy’s other ex’s shady shade throwing instagram post from earlier this year.
You can be as mad as you want to be about it, but you’re still going to be standing next to your nemesis every holiday season.
So, like Cassie, you might as well kick up your feet, smile pretty and stand in your power.
Damona Hoffman is a certified dating coach and TV personality (from #BlackLove and A Question of Love on FYI TV.) She gives weekly dating and relationship advice on The Dates & Mates radio show and podcast.
(Photo: Cassie via Instagram)
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