The Smiths Break Down How This Ultimatum Shaped Their 20-Something-Year Marriage

HOLLYWOOD, CA - FEBRUARY 24:  Actors Will Smith and Jada Pinkett Smith arrive at the Los Angeles World Premiere of Warner Bros. Pictures 'Focus' at TCL Chinese Theatre on February 24, 2015 in Hollywood, California.  (Photo by Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)

The Smiths Break Down How This Ultimatum Shaped Their 20-Something-Year Marriage

“Wait, so you break up with me over some words?”

Published 3 weeks ago

Jada Pinkett-Smith kicked off season two of Red Table Talk with 17-year-old Willow Smith, her mom, Adrienne Banfield-Jones, and one other very special guest—Will Smith! Remember that trailer for the Facebook show where Will said Jada cried for 45 days straight at one point in their marriage? Well, it turns out it wasn’t really about Will, Jada told Bossip.

“It’s really misleading. I wasn’t crying because of Will. I was crying because I had created a life for myself where I wasn’t happy. It wasn’t him.”

And after watching today’s premiere, where the 50-year-old actor chopped it up with his wife, daughter and mother-in-law on how on he and Jada handle conflict in their relationship, we can see how they’ve been able to create a peaceful marriage.

Will recalled his and Jada’s first “bad” argument, where she cussed at him at a gathering at their home in front his oldest son, Trey, who was 2 years old at the time. Appalled by her use of language, Will tapped her on the head with a newspaper and asked her to step out of room with him. “Did this joker just hit me on my head with a newspaper...like I’m a dog? [laughs],” Jada remembers thinking.

After this interaction, the couple made a deal to NEVER curse or raise their voices at each other ever again. Will explained his thought process to her like this: “I grew up in household where I watched my father punch my mother in the face and I will not create a house, a space, an interaction, with a person where there’s violence. If you have to talk to me like that then we can’t be together.”

After a few more cuss words from Jada, Will says she asked, “Wait, so you break up with me over some words?” To which he responded, “Yeah.”

This exchange was fundamental in shaping the way they handle conflict throughout their 21-year marriage thus far. The couple hasn’t used profanity or yelled at each other since. Powerful, no?

But it sounds way easier said than done. Adrienne, a.k.a. Granny, asked the question on all of our minds.

“You never raised your voices?!” said Granny. “We couldn’t afford to…we just couldn’t. Because it could get ugly. We wouldn’t have been able to nurture kindness, love.”

Jada credited communication courses and a healthy understanding of discipline on both their parts to their successful relationship.

Watch the full season two premiere of Red Table Talk below:

Written by BET Staff

(Photo by Axelle/Bauer-Griffin/FilmMagic)

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