Commentary: If You Truly Love Someone, Should You Let Them Go?

Couple in an argument

Commentary: If You Truly Love Someone, Should You Let Them Go?

Waiting for “the one who got away” just isn't realistic.

Published July 23, 2014

When it comes to making the right or wrong decisions in love, it certainly isn’t easy, especially when your heart and mind aren’t on the same page. At some point, we all come to a crossroad where we question next steps. Should we stay, should we leave or should we base our decision on the familiar quote, “If you love someone, let them go. If they return, they were always yours”?

Admittedly, when it came to this whole love thing, in the early years I was a bit naïve. I believed wholeheartedly in the concept of letting a lover go with hope they would return, but as I matured in love and life, I realized this saying doesn’t hold much truth. When we love someone — whether it’s a spouse, family member or best friend — we always want them near us in order to cherish and be cherished. The logic of giving someone you love the opportunity to slip away seems like a Catch-22.

I came to my own realization after one of my good friends was dumped by her boyfriend of three years. Although I knew they were having problems, there wasn’t a doubt in my mind they would work things out. During one of our brunch dates, I sat in silence while she painfully shared with me his reasoning for ending their romance. To him, it seemed impossible to work through their frustrations and since they had been together for quite some time, maybe it was best to part ways. After all, if it’s meant to be, it’ll be, and their hearts will find each other again. Wrong.

We soon discovered it was his way of getting out of the relationship so he could play the field. Rightfully so, she was confused, angry, brokenhearted and was down and out for a very long time. Eventually, the tables turned when she met her husband. Once her ex heard the news he sprinted back, regretful of his actions by wallowing in his “shoulda-coulda-wouldas,” but by that time it was too late. Instead of reminiscing on the past, she thanked him for letting her go. After all, his decision was the driving force behind her ability to move forward in order to find true love with her husband.

With so many daily distractions, even the most loyal and trustworthy of us are tried and tested when it comes to making love last. But ultimately, it comes down to the two people who are in the relationship to sail through and overcome the daily distractions together, as a unit. In other words, the saying should be, “If you truly love someone, there’s no reason why you should ever let them go.” Wouldn’t you agree?

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 (Photo: Troels Graugaard/GettyImages)

Written by Dontaira Terrell


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