Commentary: Surviving Some of Your Parents' Craziest Moments

Mathew Knowles

Commentary: Surviving Some of Your Parents' Craziest Moments

Let Mathew Knowles show you the way to sanity.

Published December 30, 2014

Ask any parent and they will regale you with stories of the times their kids embarrassed them. From dirty diapers at inopportune times to revealing family secrets — Daddy said what? Mom did that? — in crowded rooms. It is an accepted side effect of raising little people who are still figuring out social norms. But what happens when tables are turned, when the ones acting out are the big people, the parents who seemed to have lost their minds and are up to things that are sure to mortify their kids? A couple of examples…

Exhibit A: Mathew Knowles. Call him smart, because Beyoncé’s dad and former manager and mind behind Destiny’s Child held a garage sale where he tried to unload Destiny Child posters for $200 and Solange CDs for $1.96. Since his kids and Kelly Rowland broke business ties with him — and since he had two children for which he must pay hefty child support — Knowles’s bank account is not looking as rosy as it once did. Yet when you hear about the garage sale of his children’s merchandise, you can’t help but wonder if Solange is dreaming of catching him in a video camera-less elevator while Queen Bey stands behind her tsk-tsking and shaking her head.

Exhibit B: Kris Jenner. It’s hard to guess what could embarrass your kids when your children are the stars of Keeping Up With the Kardashians. We have seen them give each other bikini waxes, pull babies out of their vaginas with their own hands and coo sexy talk to Lamar Odom while asking for a spanking. In other words, we’ve seen things we never thought we’d ever see on television, all brought to us by the offspring of Kris Jenner. Yet when she donned a leggy outfit with reindeer ears and stood next to supermodel-on-the-rise daughter Kendall and danced and destroyed a Christmas tree in Love magazine's 2014 Advent video calendar, maybe just maybe Kris found that there was still a line to cross in what your children might not want to see their mother doing in front of the world.

Remember Knowles and Jenner the next time your parents pull out the photo album overflowing with pics of your awkward years just when your new man comes to the house. Think of them when they try to lead the Soul Train line as soon as someone turns on the video camera. Keep them in mind the next time you want to put mom and dad on a time out — and remember that this might be a gruesome moment at present, but in the future it could be a story you share with your own kids right after you’re done embarrassing them.

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(Photo: Simon Earl / Splash News)

Written by Ayana Byrd


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