Within the first 10 minutes, The Girl on the Train derailed. Maybe it was the awkward opening monologue about a woman obsessing over random people as she rides the train. It could be the strange blackout sequences that were more laughable than mysterious. Also, a consistently drunk woman who is constantly falling, screaming and crying like a scene from Absolutely Fabulous. The Girl on the Train should have never left the station, and now its final destination is to be one of the biggest disappointments of 2016.
Based on an international bestseller written by Paula Young, the film already has a huge following with fans hoping the Universal Pictures flick translates on screen. The book might have been a great read, but the film is as dull and exhausting as your routine evening commute home. Directed by Tate Taylor, the movie is stuffed with all of the trite trappings of a suburbia thriller: pretty, perfect model-types bored with their privileged lives are suddenly in danger. Emily Blunt stars as Rachel, a divorced alcoholic upset that her husband found a new wife. She gets off on riding the train back and forth to Manhattan and because she refuses to mind her own business (isn't that how all of these films work?), she lands into a heap of drama.
There are a flock of other characters who morphed together on screen with no chemistry. While I appreciate an all-woman cast, and no doubt these actresses are seriously talented, none of them could make the story work that might have been too complicated and nuanced for a two-hour film. Tate Taylor’s dark, bluish-gray imagery was beautiful on screen, but with a handful of eye-rolling plot twists and a predictable ending, The Girl on the Train makes you say to yourself, "Did I actually just sit through this?" #GirlBye.
The Girl on the Train is in theaters now.
(Photo: Jessica Miglio/STORYTELLER DISTRIBUTION CO., LLC)