Life is complicated enough as a Black woman living in America right now but things can get very messy if your Donald Trump-supporting boyfriend goes on a racist rant right in front of you. An option of course, is to record it and broadcast it across the internet — at least that’s what Madison Amelia did. The 25-year-old Rhode Island resident secretly recorded her now ex-boyfriend’s verbally abusive tirade where he uses the n-word repeatedly toward her and says things like, “F*ck your Black a**. Get the f*ck out. Get out of my country. You’re causing the f*cking problem. Bye! Here’s your ticket back to motherf*cking Nigeria.” For the record, Madison is not Nigerian.
The video was recorded while Trump was still campaigning but went viral in the wake of his recent presidential victory via the Brown Girl Squad Facebook page. The disturbing clip left many wondering, specifically us, how Madison got that deep into a relationship with a man who was so clearly an aggressive racist?
Madison opened up to BET.com about how the election became a trigger that brought out a completely different side of her ex. Her three-and-a-half year relationship took a turn for the worse when she expressed her political views, namely that she just simply couldn’t vote for Trump.
“His abusive behavior happened over time. It’s not like he woke up one morning and decided to punch me in the face. It was kind of like eight months in when he got controlling. But the whole racial thing was really brought out by the fact that I’ve always voted Republican. I’m a Republican, but I told him that there’s no way on God’s green earth that I could get behind Trump. I didn’t want to get behind Hillary Clinton either, but as a minority it was more important for me not to support this guy. And it’s not even just him. It’s his VP and the others he’s going to appoint into office with him. That was the problem where we kind of butted heads, and it became a racial issue for him. When Trump announced he was going to run was really the first time I had seen that from him,” she explains.
Madison's lack of response during the rant is coming under some scrutiny but Madison purposely did not lash out about his volatile comments in the video as to not provoke physical abuse, which she had suffered at his hands before. Instead she decided to share it, hoping to find a community of people who might have been experiencing similar situations.
“The rant had gone on a few minutes before that. I was just sitting on the other side of the room watching him and I realized there has to be other people that are going to vote for Trump that feel this way. But the problem isn’t Trump himself; it’s the people who think they can find an ally in him, which are people like [my ex]. People who think that now it’s OK to be open about that racism. That’s the scary part. It’s not necessarily [Trump] because he is only one guy and can only do so much. It’s the people that live next door to you, the people you work with, the people you sit next to at a restaurant — that’s what’s scary because you don’t know who has those thoughts inside of them. You just don’t know,” she continues.
Yes, it can even be the people you date.
Madison ended the relationship a couple weeks after recording the video. It was his blatant racism and ultimatums like, “You can stay or you can leave... but dead” that prompted her to leave. This is pretty typical of an abusive relationship. She remembers telling a friend, “I just have to fake it until I can get out.” She left in the middle of the night while he was out and never went back. Madison now has a restraining order against her ex, is happy and learning to love herself.
She emphasizes, “I think the thing that gets missed in the video that yeah, it was about race, but it was even more so about abuse. Like I’ve gotten called every name in the book by him, so being called a racial slur was just like another drop in the pot. I was at a point where I was just blocking things out and was numb to everything. And the fact that he was physically abusive made me not question anything because I knew better than to start an argument. You know?”
Madison says although she’s gotten a lot of hate messages ridiculing her and calling her names like “bed wench,” the positive feedback from other women who have experienced domestic violence is well-worth sharing her experience. She encourages women not to ignore the red flags in the beginning stages of new relationship because you want to stay in the honeymoon phase. She admits, “I ignored so many red flags, just to make things work and I’m never going to ignore a red flag again in my life, ever.”
(Photo: Courtesy of Madison Amelia)