Superhero films are normally a guaranteed hit. But even the most dedicated fans of Fantastic Four fans won't be satisfied with the latest deadpan reboot, directed and co-written by Josh Trank. The Fox film, which cost over $120 million to produce, is arguably the worst movie of the summer. From the abusively boring plot to ridiculously anti-climactic action to Nintendo-like special effects, Fantastic Four is a perfect ten in cinematic drivel. Let's hope the actors’ careers can survive the epic flop.
Fantastic Four originally began in 1961 as a comic book by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby. The previous film versions were lackluster at best, and for some unexplainable reason Fox decided to take another stab at the franchise. This time around, we have Miles Teller, Kate Mara, Jamie Bell and Michael B. Jordan — in the worst film of his nearly flawless career — making up the foursome. As we all know, Jordan is Johnny Storm, which enraged racist fans taking issue with the Fruitvale Station actor playing a white comic book character. The comments were ridiculous — especially considering one of the only good elements is the film's diversity. But, who cares about diversity if the movie is atrocious?
The first half of Fantastic Four is slightly entertaining but is quickly torpedoed with endless exposition and characters yapping wooden dialogue like they're in a National Geographic special. Most of the storyline obsesses over the power of teleportation, after a few tries and an investment by the government, the group teleports to Planet Zero, which is how the foursome become superheroes. But a plotline is never clearly presented and a villain doesn't pop up until the last 30 minutes. What's a superhero film without a villain? Fantastic Four makes you ask, "What director would co-sign a film like this?" Turns out, Josh Trank agrees with critics that his film sucks. He tweeted, then deleted, yesterday, "A year ago I had a fantastic version of this. And it would’ve received great reviews. You’ll probably never see it. That’s reality though.” Keep it real, Josh.
Hollywood is in a peculiar place where they consistently invest in big budget flops. Fantastic Four will rest in the crowded grave of superhero films that sucked. I am sure we'll have a new crop next summer.
(Photo: Twentieth Century Fox Films/MARVEL)