Evelyn Lozada Pens Letter to 7-Year-Old Self

The basketball wife writes about her mistakes and how she's trying to be a better role model.

Posted: 06/07/2012 10:30 AM EDT
Evelyn Lozada

The Basketball Wives stars are trying to atone for their violent acts on the popular reality TV show after viewers started complaining and boycotting the series for becoming too intense and negative. Evelyn Lozada recently shared a letter she wrote to her 7-year-old self with The Huffington Post's Latino Voices about the mistakes she's made, her wake-up call, and how she's trying to be a better role model.

"In exactly twenty-nine years you’re going to find yourself at the middle of a mess that you unwillingly helped to create," she starts. "You’re going to be the topic of a discussion about women on a national level that won’t be one of your proudest moments. And as large as your life may be at that time, the truth is that you’re going to feel painfully small."

She then goes on to talk about the "mountain of mistakes" she's made over the years and that while it would appear that she has everything she'd ever dreamed of, her younger self would be shocked to see where her life has taken her lately. Lozada recalls growing up in a violent household and looking for positive role models like Oprah Winfrey on television. She hints at the regret she feels for letting her own time in the spotlight downward spiral into the drama-filled mess that Basketball Wives has become. Lozada even acknowledges that Star Jones' call for a boycott of the show forced her to take a good look at her actions on-screen.

"You’ll make no excuses for your actions, as a matter of fact, you’ll find yourself in tears at the Ah-ha moment Star Jones forces you to have," Lozada writes. "Beyond what you’ll initially perceive as a malicious attack by Star lives a hard truth that will shake you to your core. YOU are the little girl she’s talking about. And it hadn’t dawned on you the effects that your grown-up actions were having on the next generation of little ones who watch negative and abusive moments unfold on television."

"Until now, you’d never put a race, or face or even an age to the eyes that idolize you or see you as an example: be it good or bad. And although, conscious now, you’ll carry the fear of failure with you each second because deep down, you’ll realize that you yourself had never been taught better," she continues. "I cannot promise you perfection, Mija. I cannot say that overnight, I’m going to get it right every time. What I will promise you is that I will always remain conscious that little eyes like yours are watching me and because of that, I will try to be better."


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