If you've ever been through a difficult breakup, you know how hard and awkward it is to run into your ex after you've parted ways. Now imagine how much more difficult it can be if marriage and kids were involved before you decided to end the relationship. In a recent blog post, Garcelle Beauvais talks candidly about why it's so important for her to co-parent her 6-year-old twins peacefully with ex-husband Mike Nilon and the lessons she's learned along the way.
"Based on my own experience as a child of divorce, I knew how important it was for my kids to have both of their parents play an active role in their lives. This is why it's so important for my kids to spend time with their dad and me," the actress wrote. "As parents, we try to protect our children from boo-boos and bullies. I think we should also try to protect them from adult drama and, more importantly, make sure they know it's not their fault."
Beauvais has learned how easily children pick up vibes and negative comments said in a moment of frustration and tries to police herself when she talks about their father. And even though the marriage didn't work out, she's grateful that her co-parenting situation is such that both parents can see the children at any time and make sure to express how much they both love their children.
"Luckily, co-parenting with Mike has been a blessing because we let each other see the boys even when it's not his or my week. That's because we put them first. It's better for them to see us both at their sporting events and school activities," she wrote. "We also do things to help the boys feel at home in both of our houses. They have clothing at both places, but they bring special stuffed animals, toys or books with them when they travel between their homes. Sometimes, they'll call me from their dad's house, and we'll pray together on the phone before they go to bed. Plus, technology helps. We have Facetime calls, so we do get to see each other when we're not together."
In order to help children who are living in a similar situation, she's written I Am Living in 2 Homes, the second in her I Am series (the first book related to biracial children).
"I Am Living in 2 Homes has a questionnaire in the back so young readers can fill it out. Their answers about how they feel and what they do when they feel lonely can help start a positive discussion with their parents and help them cope with their living arrangements," Beauvais explained. "The message of our book is whether you're raised in one home or two, Love is Love, Family is Family."
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