The Dos and Don’ts of Sexting

Follow these tips for stimulating text conversation.

Let Your Thumbs Do the Talking - Whether you’re looking to have a few special moments with your long distance boo or want to prime your man for later tonight, sexting can be good, dirty fun. So grab your phone and follow these tips for stimulating text conversation. By Kenrya Rankin Naasel (Photo: Michael Poehlman/Corbis)

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Let Your Thumbs Do the Talking - Whether you’re looking to have a few special moments with your long distance boo or want to prime your man for later tonight, sexting can be good, dirty fun. So grab your phone and follow these tips for stimulating text conversation. By Kenrya Rankin Naasel (Photo: Michael Poehlman/Corbis)

You Might Wanna Find Some Other Interracial Couples - Be open to scoping out some other interracial couples like yours to roll with for some moral support. Sometimes the best people to ask for advice are those who are going through similar experiences as you. (Photo: Randy Faris/Corbis)

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Do Adopt a “No New Friends” Policy - Do not sext with someone you 1.) Don’t already have a relationship with, and 2.) Haven’t already had actual sex with in real life. If you sext with someone new, you run the risk of making your connection all about sex—bye-bye any chance at a real, committed relationship. You say all you want from him is sex anyway? Well, this rule still applies because getting steamy via text before your first sexual encounter is a setup for disappointment if you create unrealistic expectations. So save it for later. (Photo: Randy Faris/Corbis)

Photo By Photo: Randy Faris/Corbis

Do Consider Your Motives - If you’re hoping to get together at the end of the convo, then sext with that in mind—getting hot and heavy quickly and making your intensions known. If you just want to tease him a little in preparation for next time, be clear (and don’t do it at 3 a.m.). He will feel rejected if you get him revved up and turn him down when he says he’s in the car on the way over.   (Photo: Steve Prezant/Blend Images/Corbis)

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Do Consider Your Motives - If you’re hoping to get together at the end of the convo, then sext with that in mind—getting hot and heavy quickly and making your intensions known. If you just want to tease him a little in preparation for next time, be clear (and don’t do it at 3 a.m.). He will feel rejected if you get him revved up and turn him down when he says he’s in the car on the way over. (Photo: Steve Prezant/Blend Images/Corbis)

Know Your Triggers - Pay attention to when you are more prone to lashing out to certain situations or comments that may not have meant to be hurtful. Sometimes our past trauma can create triggers that invoke that past. (Photo: 68/George Doyle/Ocean/Corbis)

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Don't Overpromise - While you should feel free to work out your fantasies via sexts (more on that later), don’t promise to do things you have no intention of doing. And that goes ditto for using words that would make you cringe with embarrassment offline. You want things to flow naturally from the phone to the bed, so just be you.(Photo: 68/George Doyle/Ocean/Corbis)

Do Compliment Him - Tell him how much you love to see him with his shirt off, especially when he’s pressed up against you. Or that his lips are so sexy you can hardly stop daydreaming about them. You’ll stroke his ego and his desire at the same time.   (Photo: Dylan Ellis/ Corbis)

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Do Compliment Him - Tell him how much you love to see him with his shirt off, especially when he’s pressed up against you. Or that his lips are so sexy you can hardly stop daydreaming about them. You’ll stroke his ego and his desire at the same time. (Photo: Dylan Ellis/ Corbis)

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Don’t Be Afraid of Being Too Direct - Seriously, it’s hard to be too frank about sex when there is a man involved. Need a surefire way to start? Try “You were in one of my dreams last night.” He’ll ask what he was doing. Take it from there… (Photo: Tim Pannell/Corbis)

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Don’t Be Afraid of Being Too Direct - Seriously, it’s hard to be too frank about sex when there is a man involved. Need a surefire way to start? Try “You were in one of my dreams last night.” He’ll ask what he was doing. Take it from there… (Photo: Tim Pannell/Corbis)

Don't Send Photos - It might be tempting to send him a picture of a prime body part or two, but there is just too much of a risk that it will get out. Even Snapchat can’t stop him from taking screenshots of your private moments. If you still feel compelled, do not include your face.   (Photo: 2/Dylan Ellis/Ocean/Corbis)

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Don't Send Photos - It might be tempting to send him a picture of a prime body part or two, but there is just too much of a risk that it will get out. Even Snapchat can’t stop him from taking screenshots of your private moments. If you still feel compelled, do not include your face. (Photo: 2/Dylan Ellis/Ocean/Corbis)

Do skip emoticons. - Even the dirty ones are more cute and funny than sexy. (Photo: emoji app)

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Do skip emoticons. - Even the dirty ones are more cute and funny than sexy. (Photo: emoji app)

Photo By Photo: emoji app

Do reminisce. - Talking about one of your greatest hits is a great way to get him excited. Tell him how much you loved it when he ______, or how you can’t wait until you can ______ again. Be very specific. (Photo: Edith Held/Corbis)

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Do reminisce. - Talking about one of your greatest hits is a great way to get him excited. Tell him how much you loved it when he ______, or how you can’t wait until you can ______ again. Be very specific. (Photo: Edith Held/Corbis)

Don’t be afraid of fantasies.  - Sexting is a great way to clue him into your fantasies and get exactly what you want in bed. So tell him just how much you want to get it in on your desk after hours, or what kinky costume you want to wear next time. (Photo: Radius Images/Corbis)

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Don’t be afraid of fantasies. - Sexting is a great way to clue him into your fantasies and get exactly what you want in bed. So tell him just how much you want to get it in on your desk after hours, or what kinky costume you want to wear next time. (Photo: Radius Images/Corbis)

Do have fun! - Sexting is supposed to be a good time. If you feel stressed or anxious, don’t do it! (Photo: moodboard/Corbis)

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Do have fun! - Sexting is supposed to be a good time. If you feel stressed or anxious, don’t do it! (Photo: moodboard/Corbis)