Speak Up: Talking to Bae About HIV and Safer Sex

December 1 is World AIDS Day!

Talk It Out - December 1 is World AIDS Day, and while we know that communicating about sex, condom use and HIV is key to reducing your risk of transmitting the disease, it isn’t that easy to do. Here are some tips on talking about the epidemic with your bae in hopes to protect you both. By Kellee Terrell (Photo: Brooke Fasani Auchincloss/Corbis)

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Talk It Out - December 1 is World AIDS Day, and while we know that communicating about sex, condom use and HIV is key to reducing your risk of transmitting the disease, it isn’t that easy to do. Here are some tips on talking about the epidemic with your bae in hopes to protect you both. By Kellee Terrell (Photo: Brooke Fasani Auchincloss/Corbis)

Why You Have to Speak Up - It’s not a secret that Black women are disproportionately impacted by the HIV/AIDS epidemic here in the U.S. While we make up a mere 13 percent of the female population, almost 75 percent of new HIV infections impact us each year. Yes, lack of health care, poverty and gender inequality help fuel this epidemic, but you have to speak up and be open with your partner about safe sex and your health because your life depends on it. (Photo: Paul Simcock/Corbis)

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Why You Have to Speak Up - It’s not a secret that Black women are disproportionately impacted by the HIV/AIDS epidemic here in the U.S. While we make up a mere 13 percent of the female population, almost 75 percent of new HIV infections impact us each year. Yes, lack of health care, poverty and gender inequality help fuel this epidemic, but you have to speak up and be open with your partner about safe sex and your health because your life depends on it. (Photo: Paul Simcock/Corbis)

How Exactly Are STDs Spread? - In many cases, they are spread through unprotected sex via semen, vaginal fluid and secretions as they get absorbed into cracks, lesions, sores and other openings in you or your partner's genitals and rectum. (Photo: Wavebreak Media Ltd./Corbis)

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Be Clear If Monogamy Is Expected - While some people are OK with hall passes and open relationships, others are not — and it’s important to be crystal clear about your expectations of monogamy in your current relationship. Keep in mind: The more people you bring into your relationship, the more you could be at risk for HIV and STDs. So don’t be afraid to say something. (Photo: Sara Wight/Corbis)

Be Honest About the Past - While you don’t have to tell him the exact number of sexual partners you’ve had and vice versa, it is important to be honest about the last time you have been tested for EVERYTHING, your history with contraception and any past STDs. Let him know this isn’t about judgment; it’s about being honest and protecting one another.  (Photo: Artiga Photo/Corbis)

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Be Honest About the Past - While you don’t have to tell him the exact number of sexual partners you’ve had and vice versa, it is important to be honest about the last time you have been tested for EVERYTHING, your history with contraception and any past STDs. Let him know this isn’t about judgment; it’s about being honest and protecting one another.  (Photo: Artiga Photo/Corbis)

Pick His Brain on HIV 101 - Yes it is 2015, but don’t assume he knows what he needs to know about the virus. A lot of men still think only down-low dudes get HIV, and the more myths he may co-sign on, the more at risk you might be. Having this conversation will help you gauge how to bring up other topics around this issue. (Photo: Sonja Pacho/Corbis)

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Pick His Brain on HIV 101 - Yes it is 2015, but don’t assume he knows what he needs to know about the virus. A lot of men still think only down-low dudes get HIV, and the more myths he may co-sign on, the more at risk you might be. Having this conversation will help you gauge how to bring up other topics around this issue. (Photo: Sonja Pacho/Corbis)

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Learn Together - Bae might not be the only one who needs a refresher course on HIV — you too may be a tad deficient in the topic. No worries: Just use this opportunity to learn together with trusted online resources such as The Body, POZ Magazine and AIDS.gov. Also, suggest getting tested or STDs while you’re at it. Remember: The couple that studies together stays together. (Photo: Andersen Ross/Blend Images/Corbis)

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Learn Together - Bae might not be the only one who needs a refresher course on HIV — you too may be a tad deficient in the topic. No worries: Just use this opportunity to learn together with trusted online resources such as The Body, POZ Magazine and AIDS.gov. Also, suggest getting tested or STDs while you’re at it. Remember: The couple that studies together stays together. (Photo: Andersen Ross/Blend Images/Corbis)

Check on It - The only way to know your HIV status and to establish trust is to get tested and show each other your results or get tested together. Doing this can be a great bonding experience as you both are going through the process and supporting one another. Also, it can serve as another opportunity to educate yourself being that a testing counselor or doctor will be there to answer any questions you two may have about the disease.  Learn where you can get tested in your area here.(Photo: Stephen Chernin/Getty Images)

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Check on It - The only way to know your HIV status and to establish trust is to get tested and show each other your results or get tested together. Doing this can be a great bonding experience as you both are going through the process and supporting one another. Also, it can serve as another opportunity to educate yourself being that a testing counselor or doctor will be there to answer any questions you two may have about the disease.  Learn where you can get tested in your area here.(Photo: Stephen Chernin/Getty Images)

Let Him Know Why Condoms Are Important - You know that condoms are crucial and bringing the topic up (or carrying condoms) does not make you seem slutty (get that out of your head now!). In fact, being assertive is a turn on. Don’t wait for him to mention wrapping it up first. Be prepared, be proactive and speak up simply and directly, even if it feels uncomfortable. (Photo: Rick Gayle Studio/CORBIS)

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Let Him Know Why Condoms Are Important - You know that condoms are crucial and bringing the topic up (or carrying condoms) does not make you seem slutty (get that out of your head now!). In fact, being assertive is a turn on. Don’t wait for him to mention wrapping it up first. Be prepared, be proactive and speak up simply and directly, even if it feels uncomfortable. (Photo: Rick Gayle Studio/CORBIS)

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Rep That Female Condom - If you’re gonna make him wrap it up, switch it up and try the female condom. This thin rubber pouch is inserted into the vagina that also protects you from STDs, HIV and pregnancy. It can be a little awkward at first, but once you get the hang of it, it’s a great way for women to have some control in condom use. (Photo: Keith Brofsky/GettyImages)

Make Safer Sex Sexy - There seems to be this belief that safer sex is boring, predictable and less satisfying than condom-less sex, which really is a bunch of bull. There are plenty of ways to make safer sex sexy with certain toys, flavored lubes and even new positions that can really take the action to the next level — safely. Remember: Your sex life is as creative and passionate as the two people in it. So explore! (Photo: Rob Melnychuk/Corbis)

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Make Safer Sex Sexy - There seems to be this belief that safer sex is boring, predictable and less satisfying than condom-less sex, which really is a bunch of bull. There are plenty of ways to make safer sex sexy with certain toys, flavored lubes and even new positions that can really take the action to the next level — safely. Remember: Your sex life is as creative and passionate as the two people in it. So explore! (Photo: Rob Melnychuk/Corbis)

Love Yourself More - Even with all of your efforts, he may still be resistant to using condoms, getting tested and even talking about it with you — and that’s his right. But it’s also your right to be in a loving and respectful relationship because you are worth it. If he really loves you, he will want to protect you. If he refuses, choose YOU. (Photo: Sonja Pacho/Corbis)

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Love Yourself More - Even with all of your efforts, he may still be resistant to using condoms, getting tested and even talking about it with you — and that’s his right. But it’s also your right to be in a loving and respectful relationship because you are worth it. If he really loves you, he will want to protect you. If he refuses, choose YOU. (Photo: Sonja Pacho/Corbis)