Real Talk: Would YOU Date Your Ex’s Homie?
Of course 2019 is already off to an interesting start when it comes to celebrity tea…
Love and Hip Hop: Hollywood’s Apryl Jones, a.k.a. Omarion’s ex-wife and mother to their two children, has been spending some time with her ex’s B2K band mate Fizz and the kids. Fizz’s ex, Moniece Slaughter, fueled dating rumors when she mentioned they were in Chicago together and said on social media that she hopes they’re dating. Side note: She’s since said some pretty savory things about Apryl that only add to the rumors.
With the highly anticipated Millennium Tour coming up, this tea is coming in piping HOT. Now although Apryl claims that they’re not dating, there’s a lot of mixed opinions floating around about this possible love triangle, so we asked real women their thoughts:
Would YOU date the homie?
That's Off Limits
"NO, NO, NO. I would never date my exes homie. NEVER. That’s just off limits. Plus, guys talk more than girls anyway. So I’m certain the news would get around pretty quickly." - Lauren
How Much Time Has gone By?
"How much time has done by? At 30+ you can date your old HS boyfriend's friend because so much time has gone by BUT also they shouldn’t still be close. People change and grow apart, and as long as they are not as close as they were before you can proceed. If they are friends proceed with caution."
- Stephanie Rodriguez
Rule #1: Don't Do It!
“For me, it’s a NO. I’m 100% not interested in living in the past, and I’m definitely not into pillow-talking about my ex! Seems quite awkward to have to run into each other as you party in the same circle, and I believe it can overall get messy if jealousy and drama gets involved. When it comes to the rules around this, I’d say: Rule #1, don’t do it!” – Tee
Leave The Homies Alone!
"I would not date the homie. Dating the homie just creates unnecessary problems and tension. There are so many people on the planet to date and your ex’s friend doesn’t have to be one of them. I know people say you can’t help who you fall for, but you can control what you do and who you engage with. Leave the homies alone!" - Ayana Gotay, 28
Yes, I Would! And I did...
"Yes, I would! And I did...
It doesn't sound great in theory (Half in part due to social stigma, the other half thanks to Ray J's classic chant 'Danger!' on For the Love of Ray J), but in reality, we often meet people through other friends, mutual connections, shared spaces, work, etc. Some people are in your life for a reason, and some for a season. Sometimes your ex is the "season" that brought you to your "reason." I know from experience. Ha!
One thing I will say is, time and space play a major role. When I dated a friend of my ex, two years had passed since we broke up. Neither one of us had a hidden agenda nor a vendetta against my ex. It just was what it was. Even if you find yourself to be attracted to your ex's friend (be it physical, mental, emotionally, etc.) you have to be real with yourself and ask is if the attraction is rooted in real like-ability or in vulnerability. You'll only truly know the answer if you give yourself time to heal from your last relationship, before moving on to your next.
And if you're wondering, my ex and his homie are still friends up until this day, and even spoke on the matter briefly and respectfully. Real men do real things! And although I'm not friends with my ex (for unrelated reasons), his homie is still my best friend, and a huge blessing in my life. The Universe makes no mistakes when you navigate from a pure place." - Soraya Jospeph
Subject To The Terms Of The Breakup
"Unless it was solely for vengeful purposes, I couldn't see myself dating any of my ex's friends. But I also think this is also very subjective to the terms of the breakup with said ex, and the relationship I had with his friend prior to our relationship: Has my ex's friend been around longer than my ex, and we're just now realizing that dating could be a good next step for us? Should we have a conversation with my ex regarding the two of us possibly dating?
I think as long as everyone involved goes about it honestly and without being sneaky (which is a mistake I've admittedly made when dating someone that was a conflict of interest before), I think it's fine." - Diamond, 24
If Your Ex Was Trash, The Homie Is Probably Trash Too
"I was a little thrown off as to why a woman would WANT to date an ex’s homie? I strongly believe in the age-old “birds of a feather” adage. So if your ex was trash and/or not compatible with you, the chances are pretty high that his homie will also be trash and/or not compatible with you. If I’m done with a man, the last place I’m going for a change of pace is one of his own friends." - Iyana Robertson, 30
There's So Many Other People Out There To Choose From
"Definitely not. It can be really uncomfortable to be around the same group of friends afterwards. There are so many other people out there that you can choose from, why put yourself in that situation if you can prevent it? I also wouldn't do something that I wouldn't want done to me." - Kim Cortes, 29
Cue Ray J's 'Danger! She Smashed The Homie'
"Nah. I feel like that breaks the unspoken code. It reminds me of Kylie dating Tyga and Chyna dating Rob. It gets too messy after a certain point. Case in point, Ray J dropped that iconic hit, "Danger! She Smashed The Homie."
He made a point. It's like Future getting Bow Wow's baby mama pregnant after dating his ex. There's too many people in the world to confine your dating pool to the same rotation." - Mya Abraham
I Don't Believe It's Worth It
"I personally would not date my ex's homie after we split. To me it is about the principle and sense of loyalty we have for each other. Whether, or not we [my ex and I] had an amicable or nasty split there should always be a mutual respect that close friends are off limits.
If it were the other way around I definitely would NEVER want my friend to date my ex. In the end I don't believe it's worth it. There are plenty of people out there to date. So why, stay within the circle? There are also many people who view this very differently but I'm just not one of them." - Dontaira Terrell
I'd Be Pretty Upset If Roles Were Reversed
"I definitely wouldn't, mainly because I'd be pretty upset if roles were reversed. I also just wouldn't want my new man to be friends with my old flame. That's pretty weird to me lmao." - Tiffany Ervin, 27
