Pray For Them!: Men And Women Debate Relationships While Separated From Marriage
NBA baller J.R. Smith has been accused by his wife, Jewel Harris, for cheating with Flash actress Candice Patton. Here's the thing though, J.R. took to his Insta Stories to let folks know it wasn't cheating because they've been separated for months. He claims to have started hooking up with Candice after the separation was in place. Hmm...
So we reached out to our BET family and their friends to ask them this: Is it still considered cheating if you're separated?
See men and women sounding off on separation:
Separated is not divorced
"I feel super strongly about this. YES. Separated is NOT divorced. It is really disrespectful to the institution of marriage to behave otherwise and since marriage means that you not only signed a legal contract with someone, but you also took public vows in front of your family and friends, the least you can do is respect that union until it is legally over. Divorce takes a long time and that sucks but maybe you should think more carefully when getting married if that might be a problem for you." —Danielle Prescod, BET
You have to have a conversation about what being separated means
"Relationships are all about communication. As a married couple getting separated, you HAVE to have a conversation about what being separated means. No matter how it ended, at some point, even as months pass, there has to be a discussion about the intentions of the separation. At the end of the day, whether this hook-up is cheating depends on why they got separated in the first place and why they still didn’t get back together after so many months: answers only JR and Jewel know. We knew JR was off that Henny, but maybe Jewel is too…" —Alex Johnson, BET
I would not Consider This Cheating
"I would not consider this cheating; if we’ve verbally stated that a separation has been put it place everyone has their right to play. Only rule is don’t lay in my bed if you’re dabbling in between the arms/legs of another." —Franlys Marte, BET
It's Cheating!
"If you want to get back together, It’s cheating!" —Glenn Kornegay
Were you on the same page?
"I think it depends on whether or not the couple discussed what guidelines play into being separated. So, if you weren't BOTH on the same page about being completely separated from your relationship and you or your partner get with someone else, then it's cheating." —Vanessa Etienne, BET
No.
"No, because if the two weren't together or in any type of relationship at that time then he is single." —Tyler Clarke, Student
there needs to be an understanding
"It depends if the couple has an understanding that they are doing their own thing and seeing other people. If they don't have that understanding then it's considered cheating." —Rayna Dias-King, AlphaBest Education
If it was a mutual agreement, you can do as you please
"No, it's not cheating. The definition of separation is 'the action or state of moving or being moved apart.' If it was a mutual agreement to be separated the he can do as he pleases." —Quincy Etienne, Student
Did she know that they were separated?
"Did she know that they were separated? And, I’m not trying to be funny but that’s a serious question/concern.
If we have an agreement that were are no longer continuing this relationship, partnership, or marriage; then NO, it’s not cheating." —Kateri Fischer, BET
It depends on whatever ground rules were set
"I think it depends on whatever ground rules were set. If they were separated with intention to work things out that's one thing, but if it was separation with intent to divorce then yeah, he should've waited until everything was done, but I don't see why she'd be mad." —Jordan Dawson, Musician
