21 Real Men Sound Off About Asking For Spousal Support From Their Ex-Wives
Divorces and separations are nasty as hell, especially in celebrity land. The dated saying of, “it’s cheaper to keep her," used to a be a real thought back in the day when women assumed more traditional housewife lifestyles of staying home and supporting the family unit while the husband goes and gets the bacon.
Well, thank God we don’t live in that world anymore. Women, particularly Black women, are equally as independent as their men these days. Even though we are seeing more and more high-profile men being required to shell out hundreds of thousands of dollars a month to their exes. Jessie Williams and Blake Griffin, gesh!
But now, successful women are being asked to deliver a bag to the ex-husband, as well. Having them ask the question: "Is it cheaper to keep him, sis?”
Recently, Duane Martin requested spousal support from '90s Martin star Tisha Campbell months after she asked for spousal support from him. That’s clutch. But, is this cool for a man who is seemingly well off as an individual to ask for spousal support from his ex-wife who is also financially well off as well? Here is what these 21 real men had to say about whether or not they will ask for spousal support.
Disclaimer, women: These men want you to know they see spousal support as separate from child support.
“Unless I have custody of the kids”
“No! I am not asking for spousal support if I’m already well-off unless I have custody of the kids then that’s a different situation because I may not be able to take that job I want that matches my worth to be with the kids. Otherwise, I would say no.” -Anthony, 31
“Make it work on your own”
“Hell no! If there aren’t any kids involved, you should be able to make it work on your own. You’re not with that person for a reason and shouldn’t need their funds. Get your sh*t together and make it work on your own.” -Ramond, 31
“Dual income is not same”
“Yes. Dual income is not the same regardless if you’re “well-off.” -Billy, 30
“It only delays the divorce process”
“No. If I’m financially secured, I’ll be worried about finalizing the divorce to get it over with. Why go through the repetitive burdensome legal meetings when you’re already rich af? It’ll only delay the divorce process. Child support is different. I can take care of myself.” -Darvin, 32
“I am not giving her anything either”
“No, I don’t need it. But my wife won’t ask for it either. She too damn independent. And we both well off. I am not giving her anything either.” -Joel, 31
“Divorce is to end all ties”
“No. The idea of divorce is to end all ties legally and spiritually so if we both can stand as individuals after we account for a compromise term of separation then I don’t think I should pay or seek to receive spousal support.” -Drew, 31
“Sh*t I don’t know"
“If they are both well off, then nah! I’m not familiar with the laws, or how sh*t goes down in those types of situations, but I would assume there are certain income caps and minimum that qualifies you for spousal support. Sh*t I don’t know about that one.” -Marco, 29
“It’s 2018 and folks should be able to carry their own weight”
“Nope, I don’t believe in spousal support altogether. I think it’s an archaic concept - it’s 2018 and folks should be able to carry their own weight. Money for kids is one thing, but the idea of supporting the lifestyle of an able-bodied adult is nuts. And if someone CHOSE to put their life - and earning opportunities- on hold for someone else than shame on them.” -Cliff, 30
“That would be just being fair”
“Uh no, I don’t really need if I am already well off as an individual. The whole idea of that kind of support is to get that person to be okay on their own. If they are already fine, without each other, then no, I don’t think support should be offered. However, maybe if there was wealth obtained in the relationship from equal work from both, then yes. That would be just being fair.” -Julian, 29
“No… both parties can support themselves”
“Yes if it was agreed to prior to the marriage (prenup). No, if no prior agreement was in place because both parties can support themselves.” -Chase, 27
“Just seems a little greedy”
“If we both are well off, then no. I think only if there was a major two-person financial responsibility that will be continued after the relationship then maybe. But what need would I have for support if I can support myself? Just seems a little greedy on Duane’s part. I think spousal support is more for the breadwinner/ house spouse situation”. -Scott, 29
“They should ask for it”
“I don’t think so. If you can afford the lifestyle that you all created together, then it’s no sense in someone else aiding you in living better than you were prior to the relationship. If you cannot afford the manner in which you’ve become accustomed to, then they should ask for it. But I don’t think I should pay anyone anything if they can afford to maintain. Why pay you to do better than you were when we were together? So no, I wouldn’t ask for it. “ -Damon, 30
“No, if both individuals are well-off”
“No- If both individuals are well-off financially then after the divorce both should be able to afford and maintain the same lifestyle.” -Zo, 29
“Not opposed to the idea”
“I think it depends on many variables. Do you guys have a prenup? What did you enter the marriage with? What kind of lifestyle do you and will you plan on living? And the reason for the divorce. Then I would I be able to answer that question. But not opposed to the idea of getting it." -James, 26
“Total scam to me”
“No I don’t need it, and spousal support seems like a total scam to me. Everyone should take care of themselves. In my opinion that’s some people’s way of remaining attached after a breakup.” -Rob, 26
“I got money, so I will be fine”
“I feel like it should be case by case like if you left your job for your spouse and now because of divorce, 'I have zero skills and income. I think you should pay me.' But if I am well-off, then nah. I will pick up the pieces and move on you. I got money so I will be fine.” -Luis, 24
“Run me my coins”
"In my [Muslim] religion, women don’t support men. We support our women. So, I wouldn’t ask for it. But if I built something for her and she has more, despite ‘well-off’ just more—Hell yeah, she needs to run me my coins. In the Tisha Campbell situation, weren’t they both broke? Like filed bankruptcy and all. That woman probably just had 25 cents more than him. Her ex just being greedy and petty. Man up and get a job bruh!” -Belau, 25
“You might as well jump off a bridge and have the family bill her”
“Chuck it up, guy. I will let her have the money. My ex-wife, I wanted to pay her to go away. I can’t see myself continuing to talk to her after. And she had hella bread! It’s never worth it, man. The level of control you about to give this scorned woman over life. You might as well jump off a bridge and have the family bill her." -Bobby, 28
“I’m good luv”
“This is why prenups are essential. But I’m not asking my ex-wife for nada. I'm good luv, enjoy your money and new life.” -Kev, 25
“It’s about the child”
“Yes, although both are well off the child should have support from both parties, and I think that there should be some additional funds sent to whatever parent ends up with the child. The only rebuttal I would have is if one parent is a millionaire and the other makes less. Then I think the millionaire that should be fine without receiving money from the other person. At the end of the day, it's about the child.” -Jeremy, 27
“Yes. I am use to the lifestyle we created.”
“Yes. I think I should be paid spousal support if my spouse is that much more financially stable than I am for the same reasons that she would be if I were. Think about it. I’m used to the lifestyle that we both created and want to continue living in the same. That is typically women rationale, why can’t it be mine? Double standards.” -Al, 34
