Nia Long has always handled the spotlight with poise, even when it turned on her most private pain. Three years after her ex-fiancé Ime Udoka’s highly publicized cheating scandal, the 54-year-old star says she’s in a place of peace, co-parenting their son with compassion. 

In her cover story with The Cut, Long opened up about how far she and Udoka have come, sharing that they recently took a summer trip together with their son, Kez. 

“We had a great time,” she said, calling the experience “really beautiful” after navigating such a public chapter of their lives. 

“We’ve had a very public journey that has found its way to peace and understanding,” she added, noting that there’s now “a lot of mutual respect” between them.

“The Best Man” star admitted that the journey toward peace wasn’t easy, sharing that she had to work through a lot of hurt before finding closure. Still, she says her focus now is on healing and setting the right example for her son, and she continues to root for Udoka from afar. 

“The most important gift you can give your kids is to heal your trauma,” she told the outlet. 

“I don’t talk much about my personal life ’cause it’s no one’s business, but every now and then people speculate things on social media and it’s like, me and Coach are good. I hope he wins. He deserves to win. He’s really great at what he does. We can have experiences with our son and make him the priority.”

She went on to reflect on how that mindset has shaped her peace today. 

“I’m not going to carry burdensome energy with me because that just transfers to my children and it transfers to everything else in my life,” the actress added. 

“I’m proud of myself. I think we’re proud of each other as the parents of Kez, that we’re able to make this an annual thing and commit to these last sweet years of him being in grade school and high school before he goes off to college. We’re both going to be standing there watching him graduate.”

In her interview, Long opened with an unapologetic truth. 

“I don’t think there’s ever been a time in my life where I was willing to give up my life to be someone’s wife or girlfriend … Ever. Period,” BET.com reported. 

The “Love Jones” actress has never been one to shrink herself for love, and she isn’t about to start now. For her, romance should complement who you are, not consume it. The star believes women can nurture both love and ambition, and that balance, she says, is non-negotiable. 

Her very public split from the father of her youngest son may have been painful, but it became a catalyst that forced her to re-center, redefine, and choose herself.

“I never wanted to wake up in my 30s or 40s and say, ‘Well, what is the value of my life?’” she said in her cover story. 

She made it clear that her stance isn’t about judging anyone else’s path, adding, “I admire women who are committed to being stay-at-home wives and running a house and raising the children. That’s a job.” Still, she recognizes that identity evolves and women deserve the space to evolve with it. 

“Those children grow up,” she continued, “and when they do, whether you’re a working mom, a single mom, a stay-at-home mom, there’s a moment every woman feels like, Okay, now it’s time to re-create who I am; now it’s time to tap into my passions because there’s so much pouring out.”