The double-episode premiere of Season 5 of "The Ms. Pat Show" wastes no time diving headfirst into chaos.

The night kicks off with Brandon unexpectedly popping up at Pat’s house, announcing that he’s just there to grab the rest of his belongings because he’s moving in with his girlfriend. The family immediately starts clowning him—which he’s already over—and things go from awkward to explosive when Ashley shows up to get her hair done. The siblings are still beefing from last season, and the tension escalates fast. Pat steps in to break it up, which for her means yelling at maximum volume, getting so worked up that she literally passes out.

Next thing we know, Pat’s in the hospital. While the family is terrified, Pat is more concerned about the stand-up set she’s supposed to perform that night. It’s a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity: her comedy idol, Lady Tyra, will be at the club and is choosing an opener to go on tour with her. Terry shuts that dream down immediately, especially after the doctor warns Pat that her lab work isn’t good and orders her to rest for at least a week.

Of course, Pat ignores medical advice. Back at home, she bribes Junebug to hide under the covers and pretend to be her so she can sneak out to the club. The plan almost works. Denise even brings soup to “Pat,” fully fooled, and casually mentions she’s heading to the club herself to talk to Lady Tyra on her sister’s behalf. Panic ensues.

At the club, Pat hides from Denise while Denise ends up chatting directly with Lady Tyra. In a last-ditch effort to escape, Pat shoves a random man into Tyra as a distraction and bolts. She sneaks back home just in time to climb into bed before the family checks on her again—only for Denise to walk in moments later… with Lady Tyra in tow. Denise convinced her to come home by claiming Pat was basically a Make-A-Wish case and even suggested she had a condition that made her look old. Wild. Lady Tyra admits she already saw Pat’s set and thought she was hilarious—but she’s already chosen another comedian to tour with. Dream crushed.

Episode two picks up with Pat recovering from her health scare as the family hosts a yard sale. Brandon and Ashley are still at odds when a package arrives containing their father’s ashes. In peak chaos, Ashley accidentally packs the ashes into a box sold to a customer. Brandon immediately accuses her of doing it on purpose, reigniting their argument.

Meanwhile, Pat and Terry realize a little girl is about to buy their copy of The Lion King—which is a problem because they accidentally recorded a homemade porn over it. They try to buy it back, but the kid refuses, claiming the tape is “rare.”

Brandon and Ashley track down the man who may have bought the ashes, only to discover his backyard looks like a hoarder’s paradise. As they search through trash, argue, and chase down a goose that steals the letter that came with the ashes, the siblings are finally forced to work together. By the end of the ordeal, they make peace and flush their father’s ashes down the toilet. Closure… sort of.

Back at the yard sale, Pat and Terry manage to get the tape back by giving the savvy little girl nearly all of their profits—$528 gone in a flash. Crisis seemingly averted… until the final reveal. Turns out, The Wiz was actually inside The Lion King case, and the x-rated tape ended up in the hands of an adult neighbor instead.

Season five is officially off to a messy, unhinged, and very on-brand start.