Victoria Monét Opens Up About Hiding Her Sexuality Before Coming Out In 2018

“I thought that conforming would make me go further, said the Grammy-nominated singer.

Victoria Monét is in a sweet spot in her life. She’s enjoying the spoils of her hard work and the liberation that comes from being true to one’s self.

In a recent interview with Variety, the seven-time Grammy nominee got candid about what led to her coming out and self-identifying as a bisexual woman.

However, before revealing her truth, Monet experienced anxiety about going public with her sexuality and believed it would eventually become a hindrance to her burgeoning career.

"I thought that conforming would make me go further,” she explained. “Being picturesque, straight… It almost felt like you didn’t want to add any more weights to your ankles trying to win a race. It’s like, you’re already a woman, you’re already Black—you’d better pick a struggle.” 

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In 2018, she faced her fears and came out in a post on X (formally known as Twitter). Following that moment, she gained the confidence to embrace aspects of her sexuality and incorporate them into music. In her 2019 song "Monopoly" with Ariana Grande, Monet sings, "I swerve both ways, dichotomy / I like women and men."She also previously collaborated with Kehlani (who she once dated) on the song "Touch Me." 

Now, as she prepares to attend the Grammy Awards on Sunday (Feb. 4) and transition from acclaimed songwriter to possibly the Best New Artist winner, Monét now sees that the decision to come out has led to a world of new possibilities.

She has been honored with seven Grammy nominations this year, including Record of the Year, Best R&B Song, Best New Artist, Best R&B Album, Best Engineered Album, Non-Classical, Best R&B Performance for "How Does It Make You Feel," and Best Traditional R&B Performance for "Hollywood."

© Kaitlyn Morris

Throughout her journey of self-discovery, the "On My Mama" singer said she reveres Whitney Houston's life as one that somewhat echoes her own. In 2017, Houston was the subject of a 2017 documentary entitled "Whitney," which suggested the legendary singer was bisexual. In 2022, another biopic "Whitney Houston: I Wanna Dance with Somebody," supported the same assumption about her sexuality.

“I’m so sad she wasn’t able to do whatever that she wanted, and the world would [have] been fine,” Monet said. “Just do and love who you love. And so if I have the ability to talk about it without so much backlash… I know there are special people who hate it. But I feel like since I have the privilege to do so, I should and just be honest."

She continued, "Music has been a playground for sexuality. And some things I don’t even express in words will just come out in music because it’s on my spirit and soul to do so.”

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