The legendary Black model whisperer Bethann Hardison served up a masterclass in living (and loving) on your own terms during her sit-down with Michelle Obama, Jane Fonda, and Jenna Lyons for Obama’s limited podcast series, “The Look.” 

During the conversation, the women spoke candidly about love. Hardison’s take on romance was refreshingly old school and very Bethann, who is known for being matter-of-fact.

When Michelle asked her if she ever dated, Hardison didn’t hesitate, “I’ve never dated in my life.” She explained, “Well, dating is a very funny word.” Hardison unpacked her thoughts plainly. Traditional dating, she said, usually looks like going out, meeting someone, and getting to know them, and apparently that’s never described her pattern of the experience.

Hardison said, “It seemed like every time I met somebody, that was my boyfriend. So I never dated.”

Michelle then asked if she has a boyfriend now. Hardison’s response was beyond iconic, “I have people who take care of me in a very nice way.” She made it clear she’s not tied to one person or place. Instead Hardison said she’s cared for by different people “at different places in the world,” a setup she prefers over monogamous expectation.

She added she’s “too cool” to be on a dating app, and when Michelle teased whether Hardison’s “care takers” knew about one another, Hardison nonchalantly shrugged and said, “They’re not going anywhere.”

This brief clip was shared on the ladies’ Instagram and is a part of a larger conversation that included Lyons and Fonda. There’s no doubt this portion of the show landed with fans. The commenters were gagged, saying, “Aspirational. 😂” and “More of these real talks, please!”

Hardison is flipping the relationship assumptions that often swirl around women who appear single. For her, community and chosen “care takers” around the world beat the rigid rituals of dating. Romance doesn’t have to look like the movies, for some icons like Hardison, freedom tastes better than labels.

Michelle also shared her own warm and fuzzy perspective on partnership while discussing heels and marriage, noting that her hubby, former president Barack Obama, “loves every inch” of her and that being eye-to-eye with him because of the heels she wears makes him say, “‘Okay, we’re going to be tall tonight.’ I’m like, ‘Yes, we are.’”