Courtesy of ABC/Jeff Neira | Used with permission
Iyanla Vanzant is opening up about losing both of her daughters.
The life coach appeared on the "Tamron Hall" show and spoke about her healing process and her emotions surrounding the death of her youngest daughter, Nisa, in July. Vanzant also discussed how she coped with the loss of her oldest daughter, Gemmia, 20 years prior.
She told Hall, “The deceptive intelligence of the ego always wants you to think that you're not enough, not good enough, not worthy. And for me, who spends all of my life, teaching other people, helping other people, fixing other people, when something happens in my life, the first thing that ego says to me is, ‘You're a fake, you're a fraud. You can save other people, but you can't save your child.’”
Vanzant went on to say, “When I lost Nisa, I knew how to do it because I had already buried Gemmia.”
The New Thought spiritual teacher admitted that when she buried Gemmia, she didn't know how to do it. “I didn't know how to be a woman burying a child. So when I lost Nisa—it's been 115 days–when I lost Nisa, I knew how to do it. That's grace. I knew how much to do. I knew who to call. I knew not to try to do everything by myself.”
Reflecting on her relationship with Nisa, the “Iyanla: Fix My Life” host said, “One of the most sacred relationships on the planet is the relationship between a mother and a daughter.”
“All children bring to life the subconscious issues of the parent. That child lives in your body. That child knows you from the inside out. That child has heard your voice, your secret thoughts,” Vanzant shared. “When you give birth to a daughter, she's bringing to life those things that you hold inside that you may not even know that are there and she's gonna show ‘em to you in how she shows up in the world.”
Vanzant realized that her daughter was a mirror and that reflection included some things she might not have wanted to see.
At that juncture, Hall recited Vanzant's 2009 statement regarding overcoming the loss of her daughter Nisa—it's, who died as a result of colon cancer at age 32 on Christmas Day in 2003.
“I survived that, and I'll survive this,” affirmed Vanzant. “There's a saying in the Caribbean: The bigger the monkey, the bigger the stick they beat him with. So I have a big life. I have a big place in the world. I have a big assignment.”
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