Kid Cudi is telling his full story in his own words with the release of his first memoir, Cudi, arriving this month.

The book spans 320 pages and moves through the artist’s life from his childhood in Cleveland to his early days of chasing music in New York City. Cudi, born Scott Mescudi, reflects on the road to his breakout moment and the emotional weight that came with becoming a global name.

Long known for embedding pieces of his personal life into his music, the Grammy Award-winning artist goes deeper in this project, sharing experiences he hadn’t publicly explored before. In an excerpt published by GQ, he writes in detail about one particularly grim night at the height of his fame—alone in his apartment and under the influence, he believed he wouldn’t make it through the night and felt at peace with that. It was just a year after his 2009 debut Man on the Moon: The End of Day, the same album that had catapulted him to international attention.

He describes a version of himself the public never saw: isolated, battling drug use, emotionally unpredictable, and creatively blocked. The lifestyle he thought came with the dream started unraveling everything around him. “The anger was boiling in me,” he explained. “My rage came from my reality not aligning with my dream.”

Cudi chronicles the years that followed, including the fallout from fame and the process of rebuilding his life. Much of the book mirrors the rawness found in his music, but here, there are no beats, just the weight of memory. Through it all, Cudi reflects on healing, growth, and the tension between who he was, who he became, and the person he’s still becoming.

Be sure to check out the book when it releases on August 12.