If there’s one way to easily trigger a mother it’s to criticize the way she is raising her child and yet the act of “mom-shaming” is running rampant in our culture. In fact, Black mothers have to carry the burden of shaming unlike any other group and sometimes we’re guilty of doing it without even knowing it’s being done, especially as many working mothers are at home with their children during the pandemic. It’s the latest hot topic that the ladies of the Red Table Talk are tackling during the next episode airing on Tuesday, October 13 at 9am PT / 12pm ET on Facebook Watch!
Invited to the conversation are actor and business mogul Jessica Alba and supermodel, entrepreneur and host of Pretty Big Deal Ashley Graham. Alba, who shares three children with her husband and Graham who is the mother of a 14-month old son with her husband, both openly share their realistic experiences with motherhood on social media. Unfortunately in doing so, they say they have also had to face an onslaught of mom-shaming, receiving unsolicited advice from people they don’t even know on how to best raise their children.
Clinical Psychologist and best-selling author, Dr. Ramani Durvasula is an expert in narcissism and brings to the discussion further insight into why people do this to women. Giving advice to one of the mothers featured on the show who has been mom-shamed over her son’s natural hairstyle, Dr. Ramani says the best defense is to speak up in the moment.
“She has to channel her inner leader and say we have got to as Black mothers stop destroying each other. And, when you’re talking about my son’s hair, this is actually a bigger problem with our community. Would you actually like to have that conversation with me, ladies?” said Ramani
Co-host Jada Pinkett Smith shares her own stories about being mom-shamed, specifically around the criticism she faced when her daughter, Willow first cut her hair and in the decision to homeschool both Willow and her brother, Jaden when they were younger. The impact mom-shaming has on mothers is profound, she says, but what is often overlooked is the devastation it can have on children.
Willow reveals how that experience as people shamed her through her mother, inadvertently took its toll on her as well, saying, “specifically with me, the African American community, I kind of felt like me and Jaden were shunned a little bit, like we’re not going to take pride in them because they’re too different. Even some of our family members I would feel they thought you’re too different.”
Watch the BET.com exclusive clip from the “Mom Shaming: The New Epidemic” episode of Red Table Talk below.
Tune-in to Facebook Watch for a new episode of "Red Table Talk" on Tuesday, October 13 at 9am PT /12pm ET.
Photo by Peter White/Getty Images