Over the weekend,
overgrown frat brothers French Montana and Drake took to Instagram to declare the "Sniper Commandments" they live by.
Some choice excerpts include, "thou shall NEVER pillow talk to discuss business with a ting." Oh and by "ting" Drake, the author of said commandments, means female person in case that was unclear. To further clarify, ting is Caribbean slang for "thing." If you've connected that within the first "commandment" Drizzy and French are asserting that they will not discuss business with "tings" (or you know, pillow talk) whom they have presumably just had sexual intercourse with, you are correct. Who knows if business meetings follow these kind of interactions but you know, a savvy girl might try to offer her resume I guess.
Don't worry, it gets way worse!
Drake pens, "Thou shall only splash unprotected if the ting is a must splash or you are too fry or you trust the vibe or you plan to keep the vibe for a minimum of 6 months with 4 interactions within the alloted time period." Let's decipher. So, according to these commandments, unprotected sex should only occur: if the "ting" (read: female person) is super hot, you are super drunk and/or high or you trust her not to trick you into fatherhood or an HIV diagnosis! Damn, with this outpouring of romance, how does anyone get lucky enough to do it with French Montana or Drake?
There are several other disturbing hunting metaphors that dehumanize women and liken them to animals, as well as of course, "tings." In the court of public opinion, Drake is highly favored and French Montana is tolerated but I suppose he is cool by association but this list really crosses the line. Honestly, Drake's mom would be appalled to read this as she should. As any woman should because it's deplorable. As punishment, no woman should ever engage with Drake or French Montana sexually ever again. Don't worry, they won't be lonely. They have each other.
(Photo: Johnny Nunez/WireImage)
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